Do I Have To Write This?

I recently offended someone because I would not agree to a one night stand. I do not even know why I have to write this. But....

I am a man who loves women. A woman is not just a body. Sex is not just physical. I demnad, the spirit, heart, and mind of a woman before I am even interested in physical sex. And, I give better than I get. Sex is not about something in your ****. A vibrator can do that.

Sex is a 24/7 thing between the 2 correct people. Foreplay starts with glances across the dinner table, Maybe a touch of hands. Sharing thoughout the day with smiles touches, hugs, kisses and sharing other experiences to grow together. Eventually it leads to more wild or kinky (sometmes) direct foreplay. Foreplay is a pleasure to build up feelings. I have to know the other person to read their face and body and understand their needs at that time. It is through touches and words that I reach their mind and spirit and increase the total pleasure for them. I cannot do that with a stranger I just meet, Direct foreplay may (and hopefully does) include many *******. But it should also include a relaxing of the mind and heart, a givng of you to my attentions and to the pleasures I seek to give. This comes from knowing you and having a union of mind and spirit that can nourish all of you at the same time I feed from your feelings to give back even more. Then at last there will be a climax.

But it does not stop there. There are the softing touches caresses nibbles kisses, etc. The afterplay starts then. The afterplay may escalate to foreplay then. It may taper off and blend into foreplay over hours or days. It is the icing on the cake to say. It is the thing that keeps us filled and happy instead of leavijng us wiht an emptiness with the desiring of climax draing one. It is the fullfillment of the shared love. It might not be the love of alifetime, but it is a meeting of 2 people in something that enhances there life.

This CANNOT occur in a one night stand. Holistic sex involving the whole being is so wonderful I cannot even imagine a physical only psuedosexual coupling. Yes, I in many groups involving sexual play and interests. Perhaps I may one day find alike minded peson and share some of these with them. But never in a one night stand with someone who has not yet opened their mind and soul and excepted mine as well so that we can meet fully.

I do not want to sound rude, disrespectful, or negative in any way of your choices. I encourage people ot persue the best they can. Ws are all humans trying to get by this life withthe best we find. And if that is not good enough for me, that is my failing. But I am who I am and too old to change.
demorcan demorcan
61-65, M
16 Responses Jun 12, 2012

I agree. I don't know how people do it. I suppose some facet of my belief is a hold over from my Christian upbringing, to which I no longer ascribe. However, I agree with everything that you are saying. I don't want sex. I want to be in love - to make love. I've only ever been with my husband, but there is something missing that I wish he "got." Sex should be so much more, and it starts in the morning with the way you wake your lover up, the conversations, the arguments, and the respectful - or disrespectful - way you treat them. You can't have a deep connection if you don't know how to love a person - truly LOVE and respect them. He is missing out on so much - so am I.

I can only add the heart of you in this!

<p>Thank you for your sensitive post,I like the way you put your thoughts across without being explicit,nothing turns me off more than explicit desc<x>ription of sexual practices on EP for all to read,in fact I feel quite uncomfortable.But you said what was in your mind in a very subtle way,sex is part of life and I am not a prude but certain things should be kept private between two people.I hope you find someone you can share life and love with. Take care.</p>

This story must make you every woman's dream!

OMG this is so beautiful. Thank you so much from the bottom of my soul for writing this.

Very well worded. I could not have said it better myself!

Beautiful! Absolutely touching! If only more guys thought (or made such feelings known) this way.
This is emotional and beautiful to know that not only women can feel this way!
Wow! Right on! :D You could definitely teach a younger generation lol.

thank you for your well written thoughts

i love your words.
but you in no way enjoy a little self-indulgence?
by loving and respecting a woman, do you necessarily expect her to realize that and feel the same towards you? despite what you may consider, have you yourself seriously considered whether or not she has the same mindset (unless, through your regular conduct, such a thing would naturally be discussed prior and, even then...).
sex is a beautiful thing. it manifests itself in so many ways, like an actor or actress who holds the potential to play so many unique and intriguing roles.
your post inspires me. it makes me long for what you speak of. though i am not turned away from what some may deem the occasional "naughty" desire.

I understand naughty. And I purposely did not say committed or married or anything. Some times things are for a time and there is a reason for it which both know. But I am not interested that way in a stranger I do not know at all. Friends, communication before hand, some common bonds and interest are required for me. And I was just explaining who I am. Other people may be different and that is fine. I really wrote this when one woman got mad and sent me a very vicious letter because I would not meet her for sex and I have some posts about somethings I enjoy sexually. The only time she contacted me and the only thing I knew about her was one mail here with an address and phone number and letting me know when she would be there. I do not do that.

You're speaking straight to my soul.
Thank you.

So well expressed and I totally agree!

What a lovely refreshing post!

Well said. Thank you!

I think you said it well. And kudos to you for standing up for what your desires are. I do not disagree with you at all.

Exactly... <br />
To share oneself with another is just not something that happens, it takes time to grow. Time to learn who the other person is as well as how to actually interact with the other person, more than just in the physical. <br />
You were not being rude, your being honest and straight forward in how you feel. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Lovely post!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree!!!!!!!!!!!