A Little Too Late

i can't say i would never have a one nighter because i already have, a few of them, in the past. what i did when i was younger, and after a few drinks, i wouldn't do now. back then, i didn't have the same wants and desires that i have now. don't get me wrong, i had a damn good time, but as i've gotten older, casual sex just doesn't hold the same appeal for me. i'm all for sex but it has to mean more than just having a good time. there has to be some meaning and a real relationship to go along with it. so i say i wouldn't have a one night stand again.

jerrica jerrica
51-55, F
43 Responses Jan 20, 2009

I know of one young lady who 30 years ago went to a bar and had a one night stand with an Egyptian man. She never knew his name, nor where to find him after that. (Probably an international exchange student.) She said he was a bit dominant and agressive, but she went willingly down the hall at the Holiday Inn. Turns out she got pregnant that night, her first time having sex. She had it aborted. <br />
Since then, she had two fine healthy girls who are both almost in their late 20s, and one has become PG and decided to keep the kid. The entire family loves and supports the kid, despite the father wanting nothing to do with it and denying he was involved at all. So, alls well that ends well, I guess. And times change....

isn't that messed up, indyjoe? seems like you either have one or the other but not both.

I agree wholeheartedly with you jerrica. I have only had two one night stands in my life and neither of them turned out right nor was what I expected (I was much younger then too....and kind of desperate). I like for there to be more to the relationship too. The only problem Ive got is that Ive got the right and "perfect" relationship, but the fun and pleasure isnt there. Go figure.

i couldn't have said it better, my friend. that was important to me when i was younger too but even more so after i reached a certain age. nothing but fun and games got old for me.

i can see that you're very good at being bad lol

you are so bad, my friend :)

:) lol

that may be the outcome for some people but it never was for me, not that i was necessarily expecting a long term relationship from a one nighter. there won't be anything to report because those days are behind me. and to me, that's not making love but merely sex.

now why does that NOT surprise me? lol

And like my Mom always told me as a boy.<br />
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"We look with our eyes, not with our hands!".<br />
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Took me a while to learn that one.

lol. why not look? nothing wrong with that.

Oh, it takes a lot, at least for me, to go from thinking a woman is appealing to actually feeling the closeness and trust I need for intimacy.<br />
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But it's still fun to look!

thanks CG20. i would caution anyone to not have any expectations where one nighters are concerned. if you desire more than sex, you're bound to get disappointed. that's why it's not the thing for me anymore.

most men don't seem to be as discriminating as most women are. i agree that most men probably always see a woman that they're attracted to and would have sex with. good story, jerrica.

i'm sure you do. but don't you think most men always see a woman that they find attractive or would like to nail? i'd bet so.

I have the opposite problem.

i guess you run across more attractive women than i do men. i haven't seen anyone who makes me feel that way in a long time.

TV thrills are okay. But I like that little fantasy rush of seeing an attractive woman in person. And if I get that little smile or eye flash-Whoo-Hoo!

a few times maybe. hell most of the men i see that i'd like to do are on t.v. more than out here in the real world lol

Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about doing it, just thinking it.<br />
Don't you ever, say at the mall, the grocery store, whatever, see someone and think "Oooo. I wouldn't mind some of that!"?

actually. i've never been a real picky person. probably should have been more picky, maybe i wouldn't have dealt with so many jerks if i had been. one of the last men that tried to get me in bed is 2 years older than my dad and dad is 75! i'm sorry but that's too damned old for me. there have been a few attractive ones but not so attractive that i felt like going for it. one i had already been with and i didn't want a repeat performance. i felt like he should have been at home screwing his gf, not me. other than sex, i know he wouldn't be able to do anything for me and i wasn't interested in that. i didn't want to be his booty call for that reason plus there was another reason that i won't go into here. i guess when you go without for so long, something shuts down and it's just not as important to you. at least that's how i feel.

Damn J! Either you're REALLY picky or there's something seriously wrong with where you live. Not saying you would act on it, but nobody, ever, that looks good crosses your path?<br />
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WM! You GO girl!

at least you still see people that you'd want to do WM. in my town i don't see anyone i want. sure makes it easy to stay celibate lol

I've had one time of a one night stand. It was so good, I'm afraid it would ruin the pleasure of it if I did it again.<br />
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it doesn't change the fact I see people I would love to ****.


I need some Ruby Slippers.....

i'm sure you would, hon.

I think right now I would beg, borrow, or steal for that one night. Savor every minute, and find a way to have the next.

yeah, someone i'm totally attracted to in every way, i know i'd want more than one night could give me.

well, to be honest, lately i've been mulling over that very question. there is someone that might be able to tempt me into changing my mind but, in my heart of hearts, i'd want or desire more than just one night with them. so, knowing the way i feel, i think i'd have to pass. wouldn't you want more than one night of a good thing? lol.

I can appreciate your feelings. But if there was someone, someone I'd only known a little while but felt hugely attracted to, I think I would savor what they were able to share with me. No one wants to be used and abandoned. But if you had the chance to meet that person, and you knew it could only be one night, wouldn't you want to? Guess I'm just a romantic perv.

maybe it does make one less spontaneous but i had enough of those experiences in the past to know what they're about and i don't want to go back there. i've had plenty of "fun", now it's time to experience the things that i didn't have enough of.

i agree sol. even though i had one nighters and enjoyed them, basically that really wasn't the thing for me deep down. i know that sounds contradicting but it's the truth.

yeah sg, no regrets. don't think i don't agree with you also needitdeep; i would love to have that human contact again. nothing can quite take the place of being touched, kissed etc. but just not in the form of a one nighter, that's all. i need more than one night to be satisfied.

Sorry. Spending a little time with yourself is okay, but skin to skin is so much better!

Totally! And no recriminations the next morning, either!

oh and the part about being surer is right too. i never disappoint myself. satisfaction every time lol

you got that right. especially my heart is safer. i had a tendency to develop feelings for some of my partners and we all can relate to how it hurts when things don't go like you'd like them to. if i never experience that again it would be too soon.

I know what you mean. I have a few in my history too... some worse than others. But those days are over now. If I want to just blow off sexual tension, being by myself is a lot safer and surer!

oh, he's happy. he was happy this morning! lol

Well, you know I want that Man in the Boat to be happy!

lol. i knew you'd say that, of all people. maybe i shouldn't say never again, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and risk it. that doesn't float my boat anymore.

Never say "never"!