A Subtle Way Of Lying That Often Falls Through The Cracks.........

I consider myself to be an honest person. Quite honest, by my own estimation. I openly speak of my Love for Truth. Of my desire to be courageous in always facing Truth in all Her forms. As far as I know, I don't lie. I find diplomatic ways to avoid telling something I don't want to divulge to avoid hurting anyone's feelings, or if I consider it best unsaid, but avoid lying with diligence. HOWEVER............ I have recently discovered ways in which I have blatantly lied to MYSELF. I don't have to bore you with details. It is enough to say that such lies have costed me very dearly. If I were to make a real study of how much I've lied to myself throughout my Life, I'm sure I would find many many many instances in which I have lacked the courage to tell MYSELF the Truth about people, about circumstances, about situations, and about MYSELF. We use pretty words to cover up ugly traits. We say that we're being hard on ourselves when truly, we might not be hard enough! I want to state at least one hard Truth daily where in the past I might have lied. I want to develop courage in as I "preach", calling things by their real names. Am I being lazy? I am being lazy. Am I being fearful? I am being fearful. Do I care what "they" think still and I'm in bondage? I'll call it what it is. Whether I am able to make progress towards deliverance or not is of lesser importance. FACING THE TRUTH is the primary thing. How can we advance if we're lying to ourselves? Not to mention another area in which I've lied massively, to accommodate a weakness, to alleviate my pain of loss. Have you done it? Did you recognize it? How did that help you break through? Please be brave and write your comments if you can shed some insight, your own experience and findings into this.
With my gratitude. E
Evania Evania
41-45, F
Jul 20, 2010