Why Are So Many People Lonely?????

Does anyone else think this is nuts? Are we just in our own little self-absorbed worlds? Why don't we know our neighbors? Why are we allowing ourselves to be so busy buying up stuff, letting time and false priorities suck up our lives? When did THINGS become more important than people? I live with someone who works 24/7. When he is with me, he is checking his messages, or looking at his watch (yes, some people still wear those). I am a social creature; I enjoy interaction. But I would rather be alone, that to be lonely...and there is no greater loneliness, than being with someone who would rather be elsewhere!

imathinkin imathinkin
51-55, F
9 Responses Aug 2, 2010

I think this idea of always being on call, via phone etc, is very destructive in a lot of ways..Looking back , before cell phones, people actually did get away on a vacation, or have a weekend to themselves, were able to share a meal, now, nothing is sacred. And if your in a an employment situation where you are on call, you are on call 24hours a day..it has to be a nightmare. And it is interesting, how people that are not in your presence, are given priority over the ones sitting right next to you. This cell phone usage, simply pushes people in realtionships, farther and farther apart. It makes for a very lonely and unwanted feeling, and a lot of questiones, of why am i even here, or bothering with this?

"it is interesting, how people that are not in your presence, are given priority over the ones sitting right next to you" ~ well said neuilly!

cool, emce

well I'm not very social so I keep to myself, I don't see why anything I say is whatsoever important to anyone else, it'll just be a waste of time to say anything to them so I usually just ignore those around me and try to keep out of trouble and not cause drama.

look for common bonds and similar interests...being genuinely interested in another person does not cause drama or trouble, and it won't be a waste of time...if you can't see that all humanity is connected in various ways, then you are missing out on the big picture! it's never a waste of time to interact with others...it's a large part of why we are here on this earth! go mingle!

I do volunteer work. It's great. I get to hang with cool people and contribute to society at the same time. My spouse never wants to do anything, or go anywhere. I invited him to this awesome event on Sunday that I have VIP access to, and he said he thought he would work instead. Whatever happened to resting on Sunday? I asked him...what exactly are you working towards? A life consumed with work, is no life at all.

When I moved in to my neighborhood, I had a big party to say hello all the neighbors, and some of them came and introduced themselves, and I never saw them again after that!!!!! They stay in their houses and keep to themselves.<br />
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And my ex...same as you I guess. I read an article where it is not healthy to be joined at the hip, and that you need to have other friends and other interests, but he was planning every minute of his spare time doing something away from me, working all weekend doing things for other people, just a real workaholic. I guess you can't fix that. They've decided that work is more important to them than relationships.

Good comments...tthere was a big snow storm and all of our neighborhood lost power...i suggested we all go eat together...we walked and talked...was so much fun...we promised we would get together regularly...sorry we had hid in our homes and didnt know our neighbors. Didnt happen. :(

That is sad! Being together with neighbors is wonderful but it does take commitment and work when gathering a crowd and people just don't want to do it anymore!

In my former neighborhood, we had an ice-induced power outage. All the people suddenly emerged from their homes. We played in the snow (which may or may not occur one week out of the year), and I organized a walk to the cafeteria a few blocks away. There was nothing else better to do. Without power, no laptops worked, there was no TV, no lights. And yet, it was such a wonderful day, truly special. Everyone commented how great it was to be outdoors, to get to sit and chat with neighbors they only waved to in the past. The service trucks eventually made it to our block later that evening. Along with power being restored, gone was the pause of a carefree interruption to our busy lives. It was as if the day never happened. So sad.

That's really sad, Imathinkin, (referring to 8/7/10 comment). I've lived in the same neighborhood for 30 years and we're all friends. Some prefer to stay more to themselves. Sometimes, it's just the "flavor" of a neighborhood. When we moved in, the realtor told us it was an "old fashioned, friendly neighborhood". <br />
My surrounding neighbors had a "welcome to the neighborhood" party when we moved in. It made a huge difference in how we felt about our neighbors. <br />
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We're the oldsters now but two new, young mothers from the down the road just slipped an invitation in my mailbox for a block party. They said they were inspired to do so because the oldsters had invited all of them to a picnic on our "National Night Out". <br />
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I am so pleased to see the friendliness continue in the neighborhood.<br />
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Maybe, that's what your neighborhood needs, some common night out for all of you. <br />
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I do worry about leaving this area and will I ever find a neighborhood like ours elsewhere. I, too, have seen the lack of friendliness in friend's neighborhoods and it bothers me.

Good comments! I say, if you don't want people to know your business, you have the wrong neighbors...move to where your neighbors are doing the same business. I am very social, and I tried to get close to all my neighbors here, but they would rather live lonely, bitter, closed off lives I guess.

No, I don't think your strange at all. I have wondered about this very thing so many times and I think alot of people are just non-social. Or may be its that they want to be but are so distrusting. I just got out of a relationship in which we had no communication. We were supposedly together but it didnt seem like it so I left. And his neighbors!!!!! I lived at his house for over 2 months and he lived in a subdivision with alot of houses aroundand you know, in those 2 month I actually met 1 of the neighbors. And he wasnt exactly friendly. And my boyfriend said he actually preffered it that way because then people didnt try to get into your business!!!! As for me, I like to know my neighbors. I was like, why does it matter if people know a littlre about us?? I moved back in with my mom last week until I can figure out what to do and I grew up in the neighborhood that she lives in. And I am friends with some of the neighbors here... But my mom is always telling me things to not tell them. She sdays its none of their business....I try to be open and honest with everyone and its not like Im gonna go and brodcast my moms credit card number or something like that....LOL!!