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Very Wise

That is exactly how I felt, which is why I had to tell a number of people who were in love with Me that I didnt feel the same about them!  It made them both sad and angry but I couldnt be with someoneI didnt love.

I waited 37 years to find love and it was worth it so I encourage others not to settle for any less.  Wait.. it will pay off.
alabastardragon alabastardragon 36-40, M 16 Responses Feb 19, 2008

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Time spent with the wrong person is regretful and difficult to deal with, knowing well he is not the one to make you happy but to settle and accept your bed is wrong or to think you can make it work is wrong. Once bitten twice shy....so I very much agree with you

37 years!! wow!<br />
after my previous relationship i decided never to love again... i had completely lost faith in love.<br />
but ur experience gave me a totally new perception. m very thankful 2 u 4 ur words of wisdom...<br />
m happy 4 u dat u finaly found someone who truly loves u... i hope i'l find someone someday too... :) nw i dnt care how long it takes!

Very insightful post - thanks!!

When you chose to be with the wrong person you often are alone. Communications often breaks down then the physical soon follows. If you read the comments in:” I am in a loveless or sexless marriage”, that is a common theme.<br />
Not sure we can always be sure that we found THE one for us, but kudos for you if you have; certainly worth waiting for.

Im not in love with anyone, but Eddie is head over heels with Bet Midler.

I agree. It's hard being with someone who does not return the same feelings you have for them. I hope the people you were honest with did find someone who had the same feelings for them and realized what you did for them made them happier in the long run.

That's great to know. I am waiting and trying to fill my time with positive things in the meantime. I know it will pay off and I what I get will be worth waiting for. Thanks for your wisdom

wow! i just joined an hour ago hoping to find an answer to my confused state at the moment.<br />
<br />
thank you all so much for your encouraging messages. i always feel like working so hard to be accepted for who i truly am, loved, cherished and taken cared of. now i realize that all the pains i went through were unnecessary. <br />
<br />
i`ll keep the smile on my face. and i know that when the "he" walks in to my life, i would know for sure that he`s the one :)

There is. Some of us just have to wait longer than others to find them. :-)

Exactly as you will just end up disappointing them and when they realise they'll hate you for it anyway so why not let them down before that happens.

It`s so hard turning down those that want you, when you don't want them. :( I feel so bad, and hate to bring pain and disappointment to others. But sometimes it really is for the best. An unfulfilling relationship just isn't worth it, even if it means being alone...

I am sure someday you will find your love. Sometimes it takes years, but the wait is worth it. :-)

thats very true, i hope some day i find the right one im pleased for you that you found her..

Good on your man for doing that! He is a rare jewel as Mine is. :-) <br />
<br />
I thought I'd never find anyone who wanted out of a relationship what I did. Both of Us were told We would never find anyone who wanted what We do.. they were wrong!

Good for you for sticking to that. Being with someone you dont love, or who doesnt love you, isnt worth it in any way.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was mostly thinking about my well-being in the present and wasn't really thinking as much about the pay-off when you find someone who is right.<br />
I agree though, telling someone you don't love them is really hard. I have been on both sides of this coin. Both sides are painful. Both sides are survivable. Both sides are necessary if there is "an inequity of affections." Just like I don't want to be with someone who I don't love, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me.