Its Not Easy With Days Like Today....

I was with Joe for just under five years. We did just about every bad thing imaginable to each other but our connection was so strong we couldn't stand to be apart. He was my best.... the one person I would tell anything and everything to.

Hes the father of my son but my son hasn't seen him in over a year and I haven't seen him since February. We have attempted talking a few times over the last 10 months but all we seem to do is fight.... It's exhausting.

I saw his mom and brother a week ago when I went out to eat with my family and it was the first time she had seen my son since he was under six months old.... it was heartbreaking.

Since seeing her all I have done is have dreams about Joe. I can't shut my eyes without seeing his face.... My eyes started leaking when I sat down to dinner and had to leave the table because all I could do is cry.... just like I wave spent the last few hours crying in my room.

All I want to do is call Joe but it would only make me feel worse.... I just don't know what to do anymore. Fighting isn't a worthy life to live.... just like living in maybe gets you nowhere.

I know that people think that things do get better and for some it does, but not all .... you can anything will get better but at the end over the day I'm still sitting sitting alone crying in the dark.
LoveWhitz LoveWhitz
26-30, F
Dec 14, 2012