The Brick To The Head

Whether you like Oprah or not, she has an amazing quote that I carry in my mind all the time.

"I say the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. And a whisper in your life usually feels like 'hmm, that's odd.' Or, 'hmm, that doesn't make any sense.' Or, 'hmm, is that right?' It's that subtle. And if you don't pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. I say it's like getting thumped upside the head. If you don't pay attention to that, it's like getting a brick upside your head. You don't pay attention to that-the brick wall falls down. That is the pattern that I see in my life and so many other people's lives. And so, I ask people, 'What are the whispers? What's whispering to you now?'" Oprah

That is how I run my life, but in particular, my love life. When my heart starts to engage, I step back and observe. I ask questions. When the answers don’t make sense, I become vigilant. Something is just not right. I keep those little lies in the back of mind. I check profiles, check groups joined, friends added, times online. I check to see if all the pieces fit. More than likely, the answer is no. (pity the poor man who thinks I am stupid)

If a love interest can’t tell the truth, then there is no hope of a relationship. NONE whatsoever. I build love on trust. If the potential partner is lieing, evading issues, hiding activities, friending creepy people, then I know he is not for me. I can’t spend my life looking over my partner’s shoulder always wondering what he up to online.

Remember, the truth always comes out. Whether we like it or not, crap floats to the top. It separates the real men from the wannabe’s. And the wannabe’s have no place in my life. None whatsoever. I credit God from moving these men out of my life along with a good gut instinct. I am grateful that I have not wasted too much of my time on undeserving men.

Yes , it hurts when you find that someone you really loved has not been above board. My heart scabs over, but it heals. Maybe a little callous forms ,but I get smarter each and every time.
akindheart akindheart
61-65, F
11 Responses Jan 17, 2013

You are spot on! Couldn't have said it any better myself!

Il ove you to pieces sweetheart! thank you.

Feel the same about you! Big hugs!

Some people are afraid to get hurt so that they never take the chance and possibly miss out on that something/someone special. It's not pleasant to be hurt but it can be, and should be, a learning experience. I hope you find someone that you can trust and share your life with. You deserve that love my lady.

And I hope all of you ladies get the love you need and deserve. No one should be treated with disrespect or disregard. Why or how anyone could do this to another is beyond me.

you are one special man in my life. i can always count on you to be here for me. Love you Harley

I agree with what Oprah said. I can read you consider your self very smart. But if someone you don't know is demanding a lot of answers and you don't know why then how honest can any one be with that person? In short if you tell lies and use tricks and traps, why should the person your doing this to tell you the truth?

I never use lies, tricks or traps but a lot of people do..what this means is that you will feel something is not right with people and if you don\'t listen to your inner warnings, you get more and more stronger warnings

thanks for your story, wish i had been on here befor the jerk shredded my life, will be more careful with friends this time, not making it through a day without breaking down yet yet, but i will i need to toughen up. which is really funny always thought i was tough, never thought I would have to be with husband after 20 plus yrs you just get secure stupid me. I just keep praying for the hate to leave me I dont want to become what they want to make me. well thats lunch back to work then the 30 seconds I have to see him when he glares at me as he drops off my daughter. made appt with lawyer for next wek didn't want to but starting to seem stupid not to. Hope the brick dont have to hit me again.

get yourself on solid ground so the brick does not knock you down! wishing you well.

I love this too! I studied about the brick once before. I think it is the difference between what we see with eyes and with our brains. We do not possess the abilities to capture the complete understanding of our brains.

Our brain recognizes the true meaning of subtle statements or body language which is contradicted by what we know, see, hear and learn through other senses. The brain then says, WTF! Our own brain tells our bodies what movements to make with certain things and it thus understands the boyfriends brain and body language too.

We cannot know all of these things but we have the abilities from our birth. We must recognize the WTF moments and realize the he just told us lies. We may not know his truths, but it is not as important to know the truth or why he lies as the fact he is betraying us.
Then, trust yourself, yes? He cannot convince you that you are wrong. You cannot say how you know he lies, just, you know he lies. Otherwise he wins and we give up, not believing and trusting ourselves.

But Oprah is right, Trust the whisper and the brick. It is a tool God gives us to survive.


you are absolutely correct and that is what happened to me. the little lies kept building and building until i realized he was not who i thought he was.

I also learned some body language tools if you ever care to learn I can share.

I would love to learn...please email me!

You are such a wonderful person that deserves a man that appreciates you.

If I find him, you will be the first to know. I want everyone to know how much i adore you! you are my rock.

Ahhh no brick here, but what about a frying pan?

that would do!

Right between the eyes. Maybe more than once.

I am an Oprah fan. I also believe there is much to be gained by paying the strictest attentions to potential love interests as well as to potential friendships. Following my intuitive feelings has always served me well.

you know you are so right. i had one of those moments with a friendship just last night. i added the pieces and they did not make "my" sense. than you

"my" sense. So well stated.

thank you for understanding "my sense"

You are a very smart woman and a beautiful lady. I cannot feel for the man, or any person, who does not heed this warning. But I do envy the man who can earn your trust and love. He will always be there for you...and I know you will always be there for him. Don't ever change sweetheart. You're much too good for many of us, but it doesn't stop our friendship and love for you. Stay smart and be good...which I already know you will. Love you to pieces sweetheart!

how did i get so lucky to find you? you are the epitome of a good man. and i love you too. very much

I think we were both lucky the day we met. And I remember it well.....

very well said, sweetheart. straight and to the point.

Here's another from Oprah,

“Learn to let your intuition—gut instinct—tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn’t good for you (and conversely, when what you’re doing is just right).”