..my Buddy Wanted To Work At A "rub And Tug"...

People always say, homosexuality doesn't bother me, etc. I am heterosexual, and mostly if someone is gay, it doesn't bother me.  If however a homosexual expects me to understand their gayness, THAT bothers me.  I will never understand that, no more than I can understand what it would be like to have a vagina, and bleed once a month.  So I state the previous because there is sooo much sympathy for my gay cousin,  drives me bananas.  

So, my cousin, who I grew up with, was my best buddy outside of school.  Would hang out, do stupid stuff that kids do.  Ghost ball, catching amphibians, nintendo ( mario bros, dodge ball, teenage mutant ninga turtles ) etc.  We didn't hang out much in our teen years, but then after we did.

We actually moved 'out west' together with another dude and a friend of theirs.  I knew he was gay at that point, but I was trying to be accepting, thinking about it as something that ... I should think about, he was my buddy for a long time after all.  When we move away from family and friends though, he uses this opportunity to become more weird than he was, and very gay.  I say that because he would go out of his way to do gay stuff.  Like not flaming, but, jumping into the culture.  Gay clubs, which I went to too, just because wtf, and they were fun.  But he would go to S&M, which I NEVER did.  You got to draw your line somewhere.  For me it was well before that.  What bothers me than, is this, the persona-izing of it all.  The big FAKE part.  So you are gay, okay, but now you want to work at a rub and tug.  You want to give guys hand jobs to prove.  Dude your a virgin!  It doesn't seem like you are sticking to the person that you were.  S&M shows ?  It just was like....that is what you are all about now, so I am not going anywhere near that BS!  
So I moved out on my own, didn't know anyone, but I felt better on my own than being around people like that.  I was straight, stopped the partying life style, real tight ***.  My other buddy who moved out there got into heroine. So moving away from them was the best thing I could have done at that point.

Anyways.  I stayed true to myself.  
I now sometimes spell behavior without the u.  I now prefer wine to beer.   I don't believe new-age nonsense.  But I didn't loose who I was.
An Ep User An EP User
Dec 10, 2012