Why Am I Attracted To Mostly White Guys?

I'm not saying that it's a bad thing because it definitely isn't ;) but I don't know, as a black young woman it's still a little bit odd to not be very attracted to black guys. Most of my black friends have no attraction to white guys whatsoever and they think it's weird that I'm mostly attracted to white guys. Even my parents have told me that I'm limiting myself. But I've been this way ever since I was 4. My first crush was a white boy in my class, and ever since then I've had crushes on only white boys. I don't know why and I would like to understand why but black guys are just not that attractive to me. I've seen plenty of attractive men of all races; the other day I saw a very attractive black man in the subway, but the thing is I don't think of them romantically. I love being black so I'm definitely not racist against my own race; I just don't find black guys very attractive; and if I do, it's a VERY VERY rare occurrence. 

 I appreciate beauty in all forms, guys of all races are attractive but I only can envision myself with a white guy because I'm mostly attracted to them. 
The problem is, it's going to be hard to find one who's attracted to me =/.
Firebird3429 Firebird3429
18-21, F
28 Responses May 6, 2012

I have the same issue and thought I was on an Island by myself but I found your post and can totally relate to what you are saying. I am attracted to all men of all races but I was first attracted to white boys since I was 4-5. You and I can't help that this world, especially America is a racist country. God did not intend hatred among mankind, the devil has. Children of light are of love, peace, joy and good neighbors. Children of darkness follow after Satan. Satan has destroyed this world and everything in it; since Eve bit that apple. This was not God's plan. He created us to be serve Him and be fruitful, spread love, the gospel and be happy. People had preferences since biblical times. God allows us to make choices; He does not restrain us from making choices. I can not understand the concept of why we like what we like but only God knows. I have two kids by a black man of whom I love but even after the creation of our kids; I still do not know if I really love him or not. I will always be kind to him and be good friends but the passion has weakened over time. I don't know what the future holds for us but I will be single and happy for now.

Its the blue eyes some of them can steal anyone's heart most brown eyes look the same with blue eyes theirs more of a sence of individuality you feel your getting someone special alot brown eyes just look the same as the next set of brown eyes.

I fully understand. I am a white man who is only attracted to beautiful black women. I can honestly find women of all races attractive, but I can only picture my self with a black woman because thats who I find most attractive and because I have already found the love of my life and don't need to look anymore :) As far as you having trouble finding the right guy don't stress, there are a lot more white men looking for you than you realize. You just have to be careful, don't go for the wannabe black gangster types because if they actually dated a black woman their head would explode! I know some white men just would want to check it off they're list, however remember you're the woman. You're in control and you know when a guy is checking you out or not. I myself am not shy and would let you know I'm interested in a nice polite manner, but realize that most men nowadays are shy and want a woman to make the first move. I believe that especially true with a white male, black female scenario. But like I said you know if someone is checking you out or not, just don't be ashamed and let him know you're interested. Just be aware when you meet him make sure you date for a lil while before you give up the goodies! Make sure he doesn't go on and on about the race thing, make sure he doesn't mind holding your hand and kissing you in public, make sure you meet his family and friends. Otherwise he's probably just using you to say to his friends that he had sex with a black girl. Good luck!!!

I know what you are saying about men being shy. Sometimes, if the woman is very appealing, men will have the tendency to shy away and not approach her. I am brown skinned but have nice features. I had white men compliment me through my dad or told my dad that they wanted to meet me (already knowing who I am, lol) and this guy was a cop, lol. I am not bragging nor conceited but I have just as many white guys check me out as blacks. They speak to me in public (perking up a conversation but it doesn't go beyond that). Maybe some of them are just good men who already have a woman on their side.

I completely understand! I'm a black female and I just don't feel attracted to black men! I think it may something to do with where I'm from, almost all of my friends are white. During grade school, there were maybe, 15 black kids in my grade. I have found a black man attractive maybe 2-3 times. It is very worrisome to me that many white guys who I find attractive, will not feel the same way, simply because I'm black. They aren't even being racist, it's just how it works ,sadly.

I can relate to what you've just written. I also find white men very attractive, but it is hard to find one that truly loves me for me. Most of the men I've been with are black, but we just aren't compatible cause they think my music is weird and I am a "coconut". All the white men I find just want to have sex, but want no commitment. I guess they are afraid of what their friends and family might say or they are just not that into "black women". To be frank, I haven't given up, cause I know there's one for me out there :)
Keep your head held up high cause you might just get lucky too :)

I completely agree. I HATE the term coconut. Just because I don't "act black" to other black peoples' standards, doesn't mean I'm not black. I do have to admit, I act and sound like a white person, but I don't care. Since when was it decide that all black people had to listen to rap or act like posers! Sometimes I even forget that I'm black.I don't understand why I have to act a certain way because my skin is a few shades darker than others'I'm not being racist against my own race, it just bugs me how some black people have decide to represent the "Black Heritage".

Hey, we are the same but the differenxebi actually find black men really attracted also but white men a little more and I thought I could never date or marry a guy how weird it would be if he met my family even though they are not racism and also what would his family think about me but I actually had the biggest crush on this white man at my job and omg when he walks past me and smile I melt inside and he was so sweet and helpful like the crush was bad Lol but one day he came over and talked to me and actually gave me his number to get to know each other and once we started talking he express how beautiful he thinks I am and I do believe that white men are more romantic than black guys in general but ever since its been fire between us and the feeling is incrediable

I am the same way; its just that when I see a white girl with my brother it makes me think is it for love or status. being into white guys is nothing to be ashamed of.

No you'll find one that's attracted to you lol. I get hit on all the time by white guys and nearly gang rapes by some at a party. But I understand I love me a sexy *** white Guy. But not all white guys are hot. You might just be attracted to a certain look. Plus if you have white blood in you at all maybe its a genetic attractio that hit you. I got white from both parents and even though they aren't attracted to white guys I naturally was. Maybe I took my taste after my white great granny. White guys most of the time not always have great bone structures and some hot Greek like bodies that I never see on black men ever. Plus black men look blotchy more than black women. Black men tend to have way to much hyperpigmentation than white guys. Plus I like certain shades of blue and green and those shades I only find in white men. Tell you if I were a slave and my master was hot and white I can't promise I wouldn't have wanted to get raped just a little. I would've worked him till I became his official sex slave lol...

I know how you feel! I'm exactly the same way :)

I don't know, as a person that's in the same boat I still have some reservations about it. I'm a Xicana, and raised in a very colonized household in a predominately (at the time) white neighborhood.

Growing up, I had much internalized racism, and I the standard of white supremacist beauty haunted me throughout my puberty. I am was also (and still am) very attracted to white men: the works, blonde/red hair, blue eyes, etc. Yet it is only very recently, when I've confronted the racism still in society (and myself) that I've come to find men of different races extremely attractive.

Check out sites like fuckyeahethnicmen.com to become more exposed to different types of beauty. I often feel the more immersed we are with the euro-centric ideals in popular media the less we acknowledge the beauty of what we are, the Resistance to oppressive ideals. I feel like I'm on the road to purging of the white supremacy internalized in me, and that eventually, I'll be able to find in someone the respect and compatibility that I need in a mate, regardless of their race.

i feel the same. i found White Guys to be so attaractive. a Little bit more attaractive than other races even mine.

I'm a white guy and attracted to black women. I'm way too old for you, tho.

Me too. I have liked Hispanic and Arabic too. I did have a crush on my best friend too. If it matters, he was a light skinned African American. But most of my crushes have been on Caucasian guys.( I have lived more Caucasian populated communities; but I don't think that's the reason.) I don't know why, but something about their look (and hair) attracts me. My family judges me too. This type of judgment makes me feel slightly odd. I wish I liked more African American men, but I can't help it. I am definitely not a racist. I absolutely love being black and having my culture. I guess you sometimes can't help your type.

girl, I feel exactly the same as you. I grew up mostly around white people, and I remember my first crushes being on white boys, too (!). Just wanted to tell you not to worry, that there are other people like you. :)

Hey It happens. I only dig Indian girls. Go with it. You gotta be you.

Very well written. You articulated your feelings as well as your reasoning very well.


All the best to you!

Oh I doubt it would be much of a problem here baby! ;)

just don't be shy to say hello.

omg i am attracted to white guys to they are just so sexyy,but the thing is where i live (in the caribbean ) there are not many of them.
some of my ''friends'' call me a racist just because i like white guys ,stupid right? i like some black guys too but thats verry rare.i am attracted to that nice white skin and that soft hair (i think i have a hair fetish)lol.and that obviously an black guy dont have that.
i can't wait to move to europe in 3 years :P

Hazelnut covered in chocolate looks damn sexy, very tasty treat!

Where out there lol move to england haha ;) n yea white guys love us some nice tanned or dark skined girls :D

I'm right there with you!

I know what you're talking about. I'm black and I'm mostly attracted to asians.<br />
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I dont know why!!

I don't think it's bad at all, it just makes things more difficult...

It's not that easy to meet them in the South where I live :(

I heard bwwm couples are on the rise in the South maybe you'll get lucky one of these days.

Either that or I'll have to move! Lol

WOW I am puerto rican and have the kind of the same situation i tend to like lighter skin guys. In my case i think its because of thier behavior. At least here in Puerto Rico culturaly speaking there still is some amount of "machismo" and with black men my experience has been that theyre way too cocky ... the whole "swagger" attitude is not attractive to me personally ( dont get me wrong they are plenty of white guys that act like theyre the ultimate playazz ) but in general white nerdy or rocker guys or usually my type ... and definetly seeing the contrast of the different skin colors is sexy to me. When i go to NY ive seen a lot of black girls taking crap becuz she likes a white/ asian/ or even latino wth is that all about? anyways theres a saying in spanish that says para los gustos los colores- which means for different tastes there are different colors amen!

I'm really into the athletic, and debonnair type white guys haha. I agree with you about black men. Not all but a lot tend to be very aggressive, and actively seek out the women they want. Everytime I get hit on in the street it's by a black man. The white men that show interest are much more subtle; they try to make eye contact with me and smile. I'm pretty introverted and quiet so I prefer guys who are muh more subtle and quiet in their approach. The cool thing is, all my non black friends except one are in interracial relationships so that's great motivation for me! Hopefully we'll get to meet some sexy white men ;)

hahaha some barks are bigger than the bite lol being subtle and then being surprised is always a plus jajaja

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to members of another race. We are all the same on the inside. Last time I checked we all bleed the same color of blood. All men have cream colored *****. <br />
I have been with women of color and I have had a fantastic time.

Why not? Why not be mostly attracted to white guys? I have long been mostly attracted to black women, for a long time almost exclusively dated them, and now am blissfully married to one . . . .

I think it's the skin color (because it's so different from my own), the bone structure of their faces, their hands (I love hands ahaha), their voices, their hair, etc. It's a whole combination of things. I think I'm attracted because they're almost the polar opposite of me I mean in terms of the outer appearance. I don't really know how to explain it. <br />
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That's very interesting my brother was like that. He used to only be attracted to white women, but now I notice that he's going for hispanic and asian girls. <br />
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And actually you're not the first to tell me that; many guys I know tend to make friends with minority girls more than white girls because they find them easier to talk to, but it all depends on who they are as a person, because trust me there are plenty of bitchy black women and very kind white women. It just depends on who you meet I guess.