Can't Help But Shake My Head!

I'm not African American, so let's put it out there, and yes i do understand that not being an AA sometimes does restrict my level of understanding of their issues and to some extent also makes it more difficult for me to relate to them and their struggles ...

BUT i can't help to feel a bit discomfort and sense of "empf !" when i see the amount of black women screaming out (literally) how bad they want/need a white man as if he was a "god"... And i'm not saying it's bothering be because i don't like white or black or the whole interracial part of it, but that i dislike how it is so superficial from so many of the black women's side!

of course there are those few black women who have a genuine relationship with a white man and build it on genuine interest for the PERSON unlike the majority who is going for the white men solely because of his white complexion ! And the reason to why they crave the whiteness various from person to person, for some it is to achieve a sense of validation, demonstrates rebelliousness or even just having them as arm candy (like a human sized "i'm not ghetto" type of card, because they have a white man/woman on their arm)

And what this type of actions and people do is making other races feel more bad for the AA women and AA men alike them! What this type of behavior and idolizing of white people does is bringing your racial self worth down in your eyes, which eventually leads to make it fall down in the eyes of the other races as well....

Like, I used to respect AA's so much and consider them as a strong proud, individual, cultural and again PROUD race, but that was until i started to interact with AA's, now my views on AA's is really not that positive... it looks weak, fake, insecure and self hateful, but YOU can change it, by putting yourself higher and giving your heritage more respect, make any race feel lucky and happy to be with you, make them feel honored to be given the chance to take part in your wonderful culture (which is amazing and beautiful) and stop giving the Caucasian race a pedestal it does not deserve !

* side note; i'm not pulling other races and cultures down, but AA is the culture i am addressing so all praises is going to this culture, which also is facts more than just empty praises! . end*

And AA women, PLEASE, PLEASE! stop with the, "i want me a white man and the bla bla's", instead keep and open mind and keep a lookout for a GOOD man, which ever race or shade he may come in! No bad person looks bad from the get go, so don't try and judge a book by it's cover or look at everyone with the same glasses on! Everyone is different, that's the beauty of individualism! but the exception to when you can judge a book by it's cover is when they look blatantly obvious that they are bad, u know in which case also means that they are psychopath, but don't take my word for the psycho part, i'm no psychologist ;)

So i end this by saying that It's gotten more than what i wanted to write, but you'd understand where i am coming from if you read more of the stories posted on here or even googled this type of topic. You'd see just how many of these desperate color fixated people are blacks!
OldSoulYoungBody OldSoulYoungBody
18-21, F
5 Responses May 8, 2012

You get it! Wow

I found this posts interesting because, as an AA young woman, I've never come across another woman who likes white men because of superficial reasons or to look "less ghetto." In fact, within the black community men are mostly seen as the ones who seek women outside their race because of the reasons you describe. It has been argued hat black men don't appreciate their own women or handle how proud and strong we are so they flock to white women. I've never considered looking at the other side of things but your posts makes me want to look into that. For the record, not every AA woman in a relationship with a white man is with him for the reasons you have stated. I, myself, love men of all races and that very much includes my beautiful black men.

i wrote also that "of course there are those few black women who have a genuine relationship with a white man etc.."

You also need to remember that people are more guarded with what they say or with the things they do when among others of their own ethnicity, but are more likely to be relaxed and revealing (comfortable to speak their mind in a raw manner if you will) when among other's from another ethnicity!

For a person from your race to really open up to you without any inhibitions you will have to have a really finesse personality and a truly open face/mind (non-judgmental or easily provoked) ;) which i don't doubt you are or can be, but i also know that it is VERY challenging to sit and hear someone belittle your heritage and history, all the while they look exactly like you, and you have to keep your mouth shut about it and remain calm :p ....

But do digg more on the women side of this issue i would love to know if we come up with the same conclusion :D!,

i always say that men and women DO think alike, we are all just too stubborn to admit it because we judge each other too much and label each other too frequently, so don't be shocked to hear things more along the lines of what the AA men would say being repeated by some of the AA women ;)

a human is a human, be it with a Vagina or a Penis, we all function with the same thing, a brain! ;)

thnx for commenting and sharing your thoughts, much appreciated ! :D

Bravo!!! I couldn't have said it better myself. I am saddened each time I read one of those racially biased stories claiming that their choice is not racially influenced. Well of course it is, you just said it. It certainly seems to be more of an issue with African American women. I'm not surprised, the American media is not very positive in its depiction of the AA people. And this self hate is perpetuated by all the negativity that is spread concerning this group of peoples. It is sad. Great post.

Thank you, i think it's shocking, to me, how such a powerful race and culture still can be so easily manipulated to self hate, i mean African Americans have done so much for humanity, and the equality which we are all enjoying and are taking so for granted for , is thanks due to African Americans, like Martin Lurther king, Rosa Park, Maya Angelou, Malcom X, Sally hemings etc, and all from different times and struggles, but they all show cased beauty and strength in the name of African Americans (BLACKS!), standing up against the powerful majority who could've wiped them off and yet MADE them change, and for these names and this race to be so degraded by ignorant minded women who can't see beyond skin deep is to me shocking and sad, and i'm not even AA, but i give respect where it deserves, these white hungry men and women don't deserve the titles of this amazing culture/race. I swear if i was AA i would've made anyone feel privileged to enter "my world" the african american world. Not the other way around!

Wow. Your words are so uplifting and true. I am not African American, just African, and I can never understand how someone would not be proud of their heritage. As you state, especially if you have come from such struggles and still managed to overcome. That is something to be proud of. It iS indeed sad to see the manipulation going on within the African American community. But I feel above all their education system has failed them above all. It is similar to the situation in South Africa. If a people is uneducated about history, their people, the economy, how things work etc, they have very little power to recognise let alone even change how they react to society. If you knew your ancestors were not just slaves but conquerers you would be proud. The over commercialisation of music such as Hip Hop and R&B is also something that worries me. The flashy cars, the girls, sex, the high life etc. All these things degrade the African American culture into nothing more than people that desire cheap thrills. People that can be satisfied by big rims and big chains. Forget about music that spoke of bringing change to society. Real Hip Hop, rap, poetry. All those things, degraded. It would be hard for any educated African American to be proud of those things now. That is why i love artists like Common, Mos Def, the poetry of Maya Angelou. And people like Dr Neil DeGrasse (Spelling?). These people show what black culture and black history is about and also what black people are capable of. If only black people could focus on these type of people and not the lil Waynes of this world. *sigh*

Well thanks for highlighting that it's AA women's problem not all black women. Personally I completely agree. I don't agree with any relationship in which the person is dating them because of their race and not them them as an individual. It's shallow, and pretty much just a fetish. A guy that express a preference is okay but jungle fever is too much. I can not define the guys i like by their race, they are either good looking or they're not. Race has nothing to do with it. I've liked guys from literally all over the spectrum.

I agree some black women do only want a white man to seek validation but that's not the case for all. Everyone has a preference; I happen to be attracted to white guys the most but I definitely will gawk at attractive asian men, or black men, or hispanic men. This pretty much goes for any other physical attribute; some women love tall men, some like short men. Some like men who are a bit skinny, and some like men who are more muscular. They're not devaluing the other attributes they just don't have an attraction for them. Attraction starts visually, it's the personality that makes you stay.

Exactly, what you are describing i 100% agree with and couldn't say it better, but unfortunately these women fall in the minority as i mentioned (few women with sincere intentions) of course everyone won't be attracted to same, which is why there are so many different races, shape and looks walking around in the streets of the world... but what i don't like are the once who are in the interracial relationship "world" for all the wrong reasons as i mentioned as well, saying;" i want white babies with good hair" or i want some light skinned kids etc.., even sticking around with a bad partner because he/she is white, but they wouldn't have accepted 1% of the white partners bad behavior in a black partner (hypocrisy), and these type of mindsets are what i am calling out and want to see end ! i gawk at any beautiful man as well, i mean who wouldn't, put denzel and clooney next to each other and i would loos my mind, haha, but i also always keep in mind that it is beauty that gives the personality a chance, but it's personality that gives the beauty a glance ! i will not stick around with a bad partner because of their complexion, and same thing goes for the whites who have black fetish, interracial is something beautiful and represents equality of all races and colors, it is not something that differentiates or to be used as flashy cards to show off with... but i still looove AA-culture, and i hope to one day experience it in person before i die <3 out of all cultures it is my favorite although i don't belong in it, hahaha