Suicidal Thoughts

( Rustling key. Enters key into the door knob and turns.  enters the room and puts ipod down)sigh (fantly hear the music playing for the headphones.) (Cuz day n nite. The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night. He's all alone through the day n nite. The lonely looner seem to free his mind at night at,at,at, night. ) (walks back over to the sofa and trips and falls right on it. Turns over and sit bac down properly. Opens bottle of jack daniels and pours into a glass. And puts pen to paper) Suicidal thoughts( takes a drink).  These are no longer just thoughts but soon to be actions. To sit here and wonder how 1 life in more precious than a another. Wondering were is god. What have I done to push him away and to forsake me.( Pours jack In to glass) how could yu gime this curse to know somehing evil grows inside of me and not be able to stop it. Yet I feel some much love for my fellow man.( Drinks from glass) I look my self in the eyez and see nothing bout disgust and regret for all the ppl I let down and the good things in my lyfe I was to cowardly to chase. (Takes another drink) but it is all clear now that path that I must walk.   At first I felt ready as if I could do it. Like the hero in the comic book. Ready to be alone the rest of my life. Watching friends come and go.  Wishing and wondering will I one day find any to be wit me till the end. But I guess not. So I keep walking the path of darkness and sorrow. And end I've made my peace with it and accept the losing hand that I've been delt. So I keep moving forward hoping that I out run this destiny of solitude and loneliness.( Drinks from glass and pours next glass)  my heart growing darker and cold as ice. Like a cold winter night. I've lost its alone gone now (drinks from glass) in the end I am a coward so ill take the cowards way out. ( Drinks directly from bottle.) (Music in the back round playing) ( Woman hold her head and cry
Cause her son had been shot down in the street and died
I swear to God I just want to (slit) my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull ****
And squeeze, until the bed's, completely red
I'm glad I'm (dead), a worthless ******' buddah head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't,
I can't believe (suicide's) on my ******' mind
I want to leave, I swear to God I feel like death is ******' callin' me
Naw you wouldn't understand) BYE (tears coming down his eyez. Heart pumping fastster and faster Thump thump thump, Takes last swig from the bottle, grip his gun ***** back and put it to the side of his head. {click } hands shaking heart moving faster than ever BANG!!!!  THUMP!!!!!! now silence falls on deaf ears.
theonenonly theonenonly
26-30
Aug 2, 2010