Can't Express Myself Better

I'm not dumb but I don't speak out much b.c. I find myself lost for words when I try to express my feelings. During my school days, I would rarely answer a question unless it was directed to me, though I know the answer. As a child I remember expressing all my feelings at home only.
As I grew up I find myself feeling good after writing down what I think and how it saves me from giving less explanation to what I want to do and why I decide to do. I love prose and poems from young age and felt somewhat strange as no friends my age never like to read prose and poems.
One reason I rarely speak as a child was b.c. I use to be afraid that I might be wrong. And as I grew up I seldom speak b.c. people never consider my opinion, thought or feelings as I became an addict. However, I'm gald now that I learn to write and find pleasure in reading.
One positive thing that friends find me interesting is that I'm a good listener b.c. I rarely interrupt when they share their story and would laugh with them. But this trait in me placed me into difficult situations as some people are boring and I pretend to be listening. However I've learnt not to listen when I'm not interested by action.
eljhard eljhard
26-30, M
1 Response Jul 24, 2010

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation :/<br />
Being gay in the middle east, u try to pretend ur straight, pretend ur straight means hanging out with straight people, hanging out with straight people means listening to the most boring and stupid **** in the world, but u gotta pretend ur interested, and if u pretend ur interested they just won't shut the **** up. I'm seriously starting to believe young straight guys think from their testicles, not brain...