This Is The Only Way To Express My Feelings Through Writting.
I write down how I feel "But" people don"t know how much I hurt. I know that because they can"t hear my voice the tune the stutter the pain. Sometimes I feel that sucide is the right thing to do. To take me away and give me anything to distill this awful hell I live in... Morphine,valium etc I at times want it all! Just to wash away my fading soul for good.Leave my Lifeless cold body behind guns,ropes,kniefs. I would ask "God" to take this life from me.To let me die. Erase the suffering .When you say you Love me and at times I don"t believe you. How can this be.. I sit here crying on the edge of my bed and you can see the problems the pain etc.I am weakness My true love seals you! Now look at me and see the pain in my eyes when over 20 years ago you let me live.I just don"t feel like that I belong. I keep trying because of my Daughter. My Daughter is the true meaning of my life I love her with all my heart "But" this life I am living is so hard. I want to know what true happiness is again. Well thats my story about why I write about my Life. I don"t want it but it is not in my control...The only thing that is in control is My Love for my Daughter.....Anto815