I See It In Your Eyes

    I see it in your eyes, the want, the need, the desire. The envy, the hope, the joy. The hate, the anger, the confussion. I see it in your eyes......

    Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I really don't think it is. I want more. More than you can give me, at least at this point in time. I except that. I know you want more also, I can see it in your eyes. I do not need a ring, but I do need understanding, support, loyalty and honesty. I believe that you love me, but you do not know how to except it. You do not want to hurt me, but you do not know how not to. You want to be there for me, I have seen that in your eyes also. You look so envious when others have hugged me when they have wanted to give me support. I see you wanting to be there as you once were, but you are now in a situation that you can not. For if you did, then they would all know. They would know how you truly feel for me. So you keep it locked up, aching, straining and fighting to come out, it is making you sick inside and out.

    If we were to be together it would not be fair to any of us especially to me. For you could only be there for that moment, and o, how lovely that moment would be, but that's where I want more. I would want you to be there when I need you also. I do not want to be the last person on the list above everybody and everything else. If anything would ever happen to me you would probably be one of the last people to know, yet I want you to be the first, but it can't be. I would like to give you the "honey-do" list from time to time, or have a date night, or just hang out  but, our time would be short and fleeting and that would not be possible. You do not know how to keep the 2 worlds separated and you shouldn't have to. But I fear that you need to finally make that choice for it is making you sick. I do not want to disappear from your life, but, if I must then I must. I do not want to be a memory, even if they are lovely. I want to be there in both. Memories die and/or fade, and can turn into hurt. I do not ever want to hurt you, for I love you. One day we will be able to figure all of this out, until then I will hold you dear to me and be there no matter.

jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321
46-50, F
1 Response Feb 20, 2010

you said it yourself .... just a wishful thinking