Going Back Into The Darkness

Going back into the darkness
A Poem by Lynn Higgs
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Going back into the darkness

don't want to go back

But need to find out what happens

overtakes my sense of fear

Fear being more than i can handle


What demons are there to haunt me

waiting to be expelled from my inner being

strive to find the person i was meant to be

Wondering could they all be right

held onto this belief for

i was like them

Just as valuable just as worthy

Just like everyone else

What if the truth in the darkness

reveals they were right

that some evil in me

Something i was born with causes good people

Valuable people, loving people

to do the things they do

to cause such great pain

Into the darkness I go
finally in search of the truth

to find little girl not allowed to grow up

child screaming for someone

please please turn on the light

Hide me from the darkness
threatens to overtake my spirit
p[ossessing my soul
stopping the love from flowing to me
through me out to others

here I am still

Striving to overcome that darkness

Trying to outrun the darkness
it follows me wherever i go

pulling at me
bring me down
deep deep into the depths of darkness
threatening not to release me
keeping me hidden from the world

dragging me back into the pain

releasing the sadness

like a dam overfill

grief, pain and despaired

overflowing the banks of being

killing all the green that was growing

leaving things in a dismal destroyed state

Into the darkness I go

to stopped the flooding

finding the place where the darkness can not come

searching for relief that will stay

beamed the light

give me the escape

showing to display little girl of me

. revealing the truth

finally giving the strength

to overcome all the chaos

walking through in the darkness with the light
searching for those who uinderstand

so others can find their way out of the darkness too

I go back into the darkness

to find the strength I abandon

to feel the emotions i refused to experience

To see the things that cause so much disruption

to discover the real me





every time I come out of the darkness

find more and more answers

New life

stronger anchor in me

unveiling of more light

With each venture into and out

acceptance of things that happened

unveiling healing of the inner person

walls being knock down

new abilities found

To walk back in the darkness

not to hide or scamper

or shield the shame of me

shame that was never mine

bri8nging light to the child
trapped in the darkness

trapped with fear, liesand pain

to release the child from all of the things

that happen that should have never happened

taking all the fragments

putting them back together
to formed the precious vessel of light

putting the pieces back together



making whole what was segmented

finally freedom

to live as everyone else

knowing

IT IS NOT ME

IT NEVER WAS ME

THE DARKNESS WAS FROM THEM

CREATING THE SHADOWS
FROM THE PAIN THEY LIVED THROUGH

FINDING THEIR SOURCE OF STRENGTH
BY TAKING MINE

PUSHING ME FURTHER AND FURTHER IN THE DARKNESS

but THEY LOST EVERY VENTURE OUT OF THE DARKNESS

And I FouND MORE WEAPONS

TO FREE THE CHILD DEEP INSIDE

ALLOWED HER TO COME
INTO THE OPEN SPACES of love

SHOWING THE WORLD WHO SHE IS

shining her goodness with the rest of human kind

Yes I go back into the darkness

looking for the hope of the things to come

when i come out of the darkness

I find more and more of the lost child i once was

The weapons against the lies

is finding the truth in me

The very thing I always grasped onto

yes I am good enough

Yes I am valuable

yes I am worthy

I am not evil but Good

I do not deserve to be abuse

pushed aside treated like I was less

something to cringe from

but deserve to find those who
will see the goodness in me

embrace the love I want to share

treat me with the kindness I displayed

show the light I always deserve to walk in

Then I can head into the darkness finding others

so they will find the love inside of them

attained the weapons to fight against the lies

become strong in who they are

most important that the child inside of them
the scared, hidden child
one seeking to find shelter from all the pain
will be able to experience the light

find strength in who they are

Overcome the fear

and dispel the lies

letting out the child
Who's living in the darkness
giving the little girl
a chance to grow up

realizing the loving Human being
deep inside the Cavern of darkness

© 2012 Lynn Higgs
Weary111soul Weary111soul
46-50, F
May 15, 2012