The Thing

The thing
A Poem by Lynn Higgs

the thing

that what it was

it’s a thing.

Something to try and tossed aside.

it’s not like other things

where you can keep it hidden from yourself.

it’s always there haunted you

teasing you telling you.

Look if you are the same

than why did it happened.

You never feel like anyone again.

You’re just not there

not the same as them.

You were a thing

just something for someone to push down

holding you in place teaching the thing a lesson.

the lesson is never forgotten

how can another treat you like that

or anyone like that.

Maybe it true maybe

it is just something that needed to be done.

Something to show you your place

or to control

or to let you know they are better.

everyone is better.

the thing they left behind

rears it"s head to let you know

it will never leave/ it will never subside.

What a joke it makes you sick .

You don’t want to eat but you want to eat.

Eat lots of food make yourself look so ugly that

it will never happen again

or it goes the other way.

Your stomach feels like it about to projectile it out .

You don’t want to eat anymore.

because you will disappeared and noone will see you.

Noone will know the horror of you.

if they can’t see you

they won’t see the thing that left behind the mark

the ugly dirty scar that somehow you caused.

It makes you sick only it’s not in your stomach

it’s too deep. you try to throw it up but to no avail.

You realize it’s the thing.

The things holds on like it has a life of its own.

Ohhhhhh when it woken again like this ,

You just want it to shut up . Just be quiet but it screams

they see. They know it

no used hiding it.

They all look and can tell that the thing was left.

a mark to say you were less than human.

Less worthy than the rest.

Only that object for them to take

what they needed

it’s all your fault . If only you knew

what it was that cause the action

that left that thing behind.

Maybe than you could rid yourself

of the torment of the thing. Fix that inner darkness inside

so noone else will leave those things behind

Feel like part of the rest of the world.

Because the thing stops you from feeling

belonging to all that is around you.

it’s shows you either be loud

to warned them you are near.

or be very quiet. Don’t draw attention to yourself.

Somehow maybe you will stop other things from coming.

Because somehow you cause this thing to happen.

No more can you even feel yourself totally

the thing always shows up when you begin to relax

maybe get to know someone

let someone else into the areas where love ,intimacy

or just friendship happened

only the thing comes

always letting you know they will see to

and the thing could happened again

’it will be your fault

The thing

Just want it to go away

never to feel like

I have to deal with the thing anymore

even won’t let me sleep

when it comes

memories causes the anxiety

that plagues my spirit

wakes the fear inside

the doubts the residues

all left behind

from someone who

said somehow i deserved the thing

Lynn Higgs
Weary111soul Weary111soul
46-50, F
May 15, 2012