I closely watch, examine it.
It is so magnificent, as it dives and jumps.
The water it feels the emotion, with tears.
As it fills itself with false glory.
I watch it waste the night away, it hunts and kills its own kind with the words it spits out.
I examine till he finds me out.
It will then end my cycle, witch was full of hope but a sprinkle of doubt.
I am gone it still there filling others with pain.
But this time I am not there.
I watch from above my glory has faded.
It hunts and kills it own kind.

This is about on my day so far.
Darkon1side Darkon1side
18-21, M
3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Amazing poem! Wow! U will
Be really succseful
One day! These are incredible!



If you liked you should read my others

I will definetly!!

1 More Response

I think it needs focus try and think about a kid frightened by a bully the emotions and the setting try and put that sort of experience through the kid's eyes


Yeah it's nice to use metaphors but I think this one would work better with more realism


How about attached?

Seriusly dude!



What? Oh no i was talkin to the dude who keeps correcting ur amazing poems that are just perfect the way they are!:))

5 More Responses

Damn! This is good.