The Door

I've had my ups and downs
My highs and lows
Walked in the fires
of my soul's bellows
And through it all
I came to know
That before me stood A Door.

So with a trembling hand
I knocked not once but twice
When it didn't open I knocked thrice
Behind it I knew
There was a vice
So I pushed upon The Door.

There it was
A whole new place
Where a man could stand
And feel the grace
Of friends who cared
That he could embrace
Just beyond That Door.

With my broken
Heart and mind
I stepped through
In hopes to find
Things to heal
and to unbind
What transpired before The Door.

For a time
I felt so free
With a brand new world
In front of me
I bared my soul for all to see
In the land beyond That Door.

Friends were made
So tried and true
And like a bard
I rhymed for you
I hope you smiled
A time or two
As I played outside The Door.

I felt things
I could not have expected
Fell in love
And was rejected
Yet through it all
I still respected
Those from the other side of The Door.

My time spent there
Came at a cost
My heart was shattered
My soul so lost
Into the winds
My life was tossed
In the storms outside The Door.

Yet still I wandered
Too long I tarried
And though most blows
I deftly parried
A new set of scars
My soul now carried
From my time beyond That Door.

I still held friends
I was quite used to
And despite the hurts
That I'd been put through
I found a way to write
Rhymes that were new
As I danced just past The Door.

I frolicked in fields
Filled with Daisies
I burned in the sun
which was so hazy
It was almost fun
To watch myself go crazy
As I looked back at The Door.

It seemed so strange
To hear nice things said
When deep inside
I just felt dead
With all the darkness
In my head
I heard the creaking of The Door.

It sounded like
It called my name
It teased and taunted me
All the same
It cursed at me
And cast it's blame
That Accusatory Door

I ignored it all
With no remorse
As I smiled through
The pain of course
I pretended to be happy
But it all was forced
There were lights inside The Door.

I wondered if
That light could save me
From the bad decisions
That had made me
And take me out
Of this game that played me
If I just went back through The Door.

I thought inside
there would be a bed
A place for me
To rest my head
I looked down at wounds
That still bled
And stepped back towards The Door.

Though I tried
To walk so straight
The hour seemed to grow so late
And in the twilight
I found barred gates
Before I could reach The Door.

The moonlight shined
But I could not see
The paths that laid
In front of me
Soon I was surrounded
By thickets and trees
And I couldn't see The Door.

Fear and dread
Came for me then
I had become so lost
But did not know when
I tried to recall
Just where I'd been
And where I'd find That Door.

Then in a flash
I was in a maze
My thoughts and feelings
All in a daze
I looked and looked
But couldn't find the ways
That led back to The Door.

I felt strange eyes
Upon my back
I turned to look
Yet all was black
An invisible foe
On the attack
I wished for the safety of The Door.

It came for me
Again and again
In this land
of so called friends
I was alone
And could not pretend
That I longed for The Door.

To be safely found
Returned to the porch
To be given the light
Of a singular torch
I burned inside
With my sanity scorched
I cried out for The Door.

So there I was
As I burned with fire
Dying inside
As my heart expired
After everything
That had transpired
I again could see The Door.

As I walked
I heard a scream
The kind that destroys
And steals your dreams
I thought on what
It might mean
And knew it was a warning of The Door.

It asked me
What shall you gain
It said to look
At what I had overcame
It said to double check my aim
If I were aiming for The Door.

And like a flash
I became withdrawn
I knew I couldn't
Carry on
I could not summons
Brains nor brawns
Or a feeling for The Door.

It started to feel
just like a trap
It seemed to me
I was off the map
Still the distance shortened
As I closed the gap
Between myself and The Door.

The wind did whip
And lightning crack
The starlight faded
From my beaten track
I knew right then
there was no coming back
If I stepped on through The Door.

With all my desires
Still entreated
And all my wishes
Damn near depleted
My soul so crushed
And hopes defeated
I sat down before The Door.

I just sat there
As my mind shut down
I closed my heart without a sound
I watched the waters
Where my soul did drown
Never walking through The Door.

Then I laid
With no more fire
There betrayed
By my own desire
The ending come
Like a last retire
I closed my eyes there at The Door.

And in the end
As I did perish
I thought back on
Those things I cherished
And my twisted life
So stark and hellish
On both sides of The Door.


TheHiker TheHiker
41-45, M
5 Responses Oct 24, 2012

You write so well, so beautiful :o)

Thank you, Roberta. Your comment is greatly appreciated

You have real talent,wonderfully written,thank you for sharing.

Thank you for reading...., and for saying nice things about it. Much appreciation.

I'm not gonna lie and say I enjoyed it. There is way too much pain behind these words. But I read it. I took it all in and some of it I knew the feeling of. So I stood there with you by that door for a few minutes and maybe that is good enough. You are a real poet...There is enough in this one poem to fill volumes if you ever wrote the whole books that back it all...hugs and hugs....

Hi Seirra. No books planned just yet. At least not that tell the whole story, anyway Perhaps a collection of rhymes maybe. But even that might never really happen. Anyway, as always, thank you for your more than gracious words and hugs. Now go karate chop something. hehehehehehe

You are very poetic. Wonderfully written!

I'm a person trapped inside a poet.
Thank you for the comment. I like when people like my stuff. Glad you enjoyed it.

Wow! Nicely written. This poem says much. Love it. Thanks for sharing :)

Thanks for reading. A word unread is not a word at all

I like your style of writing. Keep up the good work. I always enjoy. :D

My misery likes the company .....