Forgive And Forget

What did I do?
What could I have done?
What did I not do?
These questions plague my mind as I wonder
If undoing what was would relieve my burdened heart
Of emotions not long ago developed.
But there are some things that cannot be changed.
Some wounds that go too deep.
And some mistakes that are hidden too far in the past to be undone.
My history stands on its own, needing no help from my conscience to invoke in me
emotions I never realized I had until those same emotions pushed me back into the dark depths from which I thought I had emerged.
And as I walk the fine line between reality and insanity, I feel myself tripping over
old memories, buried regrets and broken promises
All of which go unfulfilled.
You constantly tell me to move on
To forgive and forget.
But you know in your heart of hearts
That moving on is not a feat easily performed by those who have felt
The sting of assault.
One does not simply forgive the man who left her broken
and bruised in a ripped t-shirt after stripping her of her clothing and her dignity.
And one does not ever forget wiping the the blood from her mouth or the feeling of his hand around her neck warning her not to scream.
So next time you feel like telling me to just forget
I’ll show where the bruises were.
I’ll let you feel where I still can’t forget the shadow of his fist.
I’ll put an image in your head of me bleeding, curled in a corner, waiting for someone to wake me from what I hoped was just a nightmare.
And once that is ingrained in your mind,
Then you can tell me how easy it is to simply
Forgive and forget.
Goldenpoet820 Goldenpoet820
18-21, F
Jul 16, 2010