My ReflectionWe saw each other tonight, me and my reflection. At least I think it was my reflection, I was lead to believe I was born without one. I saw her not in a mirror but across the lake in the dead of night. I couldn't not make out her features in the moon light, just as I do she hides in the darkness using it to cloak her face. She was trembling, as we both were, she took a few steps closer to the shore. The moonlight reflected off the water revealed a few of her features. While still nearly impossible to see her face with Human eyes, I was able to make out what appeared to be a scar on her right cheek as the
tear drop that ran down glistened in the reflective light and landed in the water creating ripples.
I tried to determine if it was actually a wound like I thought it was. If it was shaped like my scare. A scar that I had received on my left cheek during my childhood years. Received from the slash of a katana wielded by reckless child, given to him by my irresponsible mother.
It was a traumatic event that I had mostly repressed. All I remember is that when ever my mother and father tried to bandage it the blood would bleed through the bandage making it impossible to hide. And each drop of blood was like a tear drop from my soul. It was at that time I became nocturnal. Never leaving my home except for the dead of a night. Using these hours of the night to distance myself so I could not be seen by the judgmental eyes of the world.
I hesitated as I tried to approach her. My reflection who I had been looking for my entire life may very well be standing a couple hundred feet in front of me. My biggest fear being that it may not actually be her. That I would get there to find the eyes of a stranger, who would simply stare into my soul and tell me how ugly I truly was on the inside and out. I took a couple of steps forward and she turned around and ran away. I wanted to chase her but I was too afraid. I wasn't sure if it actually was her. But I wanted to believe it was, I wanted her to be the other part of me. I have dreamed of finding this piece of me for as long as I could remember. I wasn't sure if she feared me like a frightened doe, or she was simply disgusted by me and my hideous mark. The thought of rejection from my own reflection was too much to bear. What if I only end up chasing her further away? So I sit here waiting for her to return, hoping she will, but knowing that she probably won't.
My reflection, if I find you one day we will both be able to walk in the daylight once again.
SicilianuAmericanu 18-21, M 2 Responses 3 Dec 25, 2011