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My Angel

She is an angel in white
Sent to me as a friend
and though it’s not right
my love has no end.

She brought me happiness,
She brought me tears
But I will love her no less
Till the end of my years.

I wish the world was different
I wish I could change fate…
Shall it come, what is meant?
What if later on is too late?

She brought me happiness,
But she also brought me tears..
Still I will love her no less
Till the end of my years…

Someone once told me:
“When an angel comes, never let it go away”
I never understood, but now I see..
And I will make her stay.

Because she brought me happiness,
But she also brought me tears..
Still I will love her no less
Till the end of my years…


I love writing poetry for myself, it helps me to get everything I feel out.. this is my latest poem, not the greatest, but I'd say it is the one I have put most of my feelings in. Please let me know what you think because I am at the stage of writing where I really want to know what people think and how I could improve and what should I do. P.S. English is not my first language so I really hope it is not terribly wrong written..
forbiddenchick forbiddenchick 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2012

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You wrote this very very well for English being a second language!



Made a few corrections here with grammar...:

She is an angel in white

Sent to me as a friend

and though it’s not right

my love has no end.



She brought me happiness,

She brought me tears

But I will love her no less

Till the end of my years.



I wish the world was different

I wish I could change fate…

Shall it come, what is meant?

What if later on is too late?



She brought me happiness,

But she also brought me tears..

Still I will love her no less

Till the end of my years…



Question for you....Your next stanza says...:



Someone once told me:

“When an angel comes, never let it go”

I never understood, but now I see

And that is what I will do.



This does not have the rhythm or rhyme that the other lines have...go and do :)

I would say to re-look that stanza :)



and ending in:

She brought me happiness,

But she also brought me tears..

Still I will love her no less

Till the end of my years…





sincerely ,

JLynn

I am amazed by how nice you are to correct the grammar. It is so nice! Thank you so much! :)
And yes, I still have to work on this one: Someone once told me:
“When an angel comes, never let it go”
I never understood, but now I see
And that is what I will do.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)))))

no problem :) I hoped you wouldn't be offended by my correction and am glad you were not :) i am happy to give advice on grammar anytime :)

Not at all, I really appreciate your advice. Umm.. I made some corrections here: <> Could you please tell me what do you think about this? The problem is that I don't have the right linguistic feeling when it comes to English, because it's only my second language, so I am not sure about the rhythm.. your help and criticism would be very, very appreciated if you could take some time to share your opinion. :)