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I Write Poetry

My Angel

By: forbiddenchick
Written on March 5th, 2012
She is an angel in white
Sent to me as a friend
and though it’s not right
my love has no end.

She brought me happiness,
She brought me tears
But I will love her no less
Till the end of my years.

I wish the world was different
I wish I could change fate…
Shall it come, what is meant?
What if later on is too late?

She brought me happiness,
But she also brought me tears..
Still I will love her no less
Till the end of my years…

Someone once told me:
“When an angel comes, never let it go away”
I never understood, but now I see..
And I will make her stay.

Because she brought me happiness,
But she also brought me tears..
Still I will love her no less
Till the end of my years…


I love writing poetry for myself, it helps me to get everything I feel out.. this is my latest poem, not the greatest, but I'd say it is the one I have put most of my feelings in. Please let me know what you think because I am at the stage of writing where I really want to know what people think and how I could improve and what should I do. P.S. English is not my first language so I really hope it is not terribly wrong written..
By: forbiddenchick
Age: 18-21 , Female
158 people have read this story

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4 responses
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    JLynn23
    JLynn23

    You wrote this very very well for English being a second language!



    Made a few corrections here with grammar...:

    She is an angel in white

    Sent to me as a friend

    and though it’s not right

    my love has no end.



    She brought me happiness,

    She brought me tears

    But I will love her no less

    Till the end of my years.



    I wish the world was different

    I wish I could change fate…

    Shall it come, what is meant?

    What if later on is too late?



    She brought me happiness,

    But she also brought me tears..

    Still I will love her no less

    Till the end of my years…



    Question for you....Your next stanza says...:



    Someone once told me:

    “When an angel comes, never let it go”

    I never understood, but now I see

    And that is what I will do.



    This does not have the rhythm or rhyme that the other lines have...go and do :)

    I would say to re-look that stanza :)



    and ending in:

    She brought me happiness,

    But she also brought me tears..

    Still I will love her no less

    Till the end of my years…





    sincerely ,

    JLynn

    Mar 5, 2012
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      forbiddenchick
      forbiddenchick

      I am amazed by how nice you are to correct the grammar. It is so nice! Thank you so much! :)
      And yes, I still have to work on this one: Someone once told me:
      “When an angel comes, never let it go”
      I never understood, but now I see
      And that is what I will do.

      Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)))))

      Mar 5, 2012
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      JLynn23
      JLynn23

      no problem :) I hoped you wouldn't be offended by my correction and am glad you were not :) i am happy to give advice on grammar anytime :)

      Mar 5, 2012
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      forbiddenchick
      forbiddenchick

      Not at all, I really appreciate your advice. Umm.. I made some corrections here: <> Could you please tell me what do you think about this? The problem is that I don't have the right linguistic feeling when it comes to English, because it's only my second language, so I am not sure about the rhythm.. your help and criticism would be very, very appreciated if you could take some time to share your opinion. :)

      Mar 5, 2012
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