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More Than Words

This is a poem "if i may call it so" i wrote minutes ago. I like a guy, I think am falling in love with him, and I hate that cause am not sure he feels the same. However, he made me feel bad today, so I wrote my emotions here:

 Your eyes of eternal blaze

Ripped that weary life out of me

With no more than a single gaze

Of those two raven fire orbs

 

Your eyes of eternal flames

Turned that naïve stupid heart

Into re-burning ashes, forever

In the midst of my existence

 

That … is I

A nun; devoted to his love

To a new religion, a new verse

Of truth’s beautiful lies

 

Down on my knees bleeding,

For salvation I patiently waited

Till I was blessed, re-killed and

Baptized, in a deeper shade of red.

Daly

Axielle Axielle 21-25, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2007

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Sometimes the best poems are those that are not endlessly drafted and polished. This poem has a spontaneity and raw immediacy that would be lost with endless re-writes. I liked it.

Most poems are just that..written emotions and thoughts. I thought it was well done.

Thanks Lynn For taking the time to read it :). I dont consider this piece of work as a "poem", because I didn't even edit it, but it's more like a therapy I used in those tensed moments.

very powerful... and I hate to critique a poem written from the heart - because anything you write from your heart is a good poem, whether or not anyone else understands it.<br />
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but you tell rather show you emotions.<br />
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peace<br />
lynn