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Creating my own chaos, I lie and steal my own well being,
Ranting, screaming lullabies as you go wander freely.
Will this misery suffice, or should I just cause more worry?
You tell me I can change, but honey, they're just stories.
Should I be smiling and ripping stitches ear to ear?
I'm cleaning windows to my soul for you to see me clearer,
But when the wrong things turn to right and my thoughts are inside out,
Will you be there to stop it all before the whispers turn to shouts?
I need some realization, some rationality and truth.
And I know they can't win if I make it all turn black and blue.
Someday I'll rip it out of you and make you see,
There's never any peace that comes to us for free.
So I'll turn to my drugs, beg them to make sense of it all,
They whisper all the answers and tell me it's my call.
I'll buy my own way out, my ticket straight to hell,
It can't be that much worse, I'm already living in a cell.
I just wish someone would understand,
Tell me it's all ok and hold my hand.
I know I'm not all right inside, I'm not completely sane.
Wish I was picture perfect, but my life won't fit inside the frame.
Maybe one day I will get to see
Through the eyes of a normal human being,
But for now I guess I'll have to wait.
Another night has past, and I've refused to change.
Brody1530 Brody1530 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 11, 2012

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I know I'm not all right inside, I'm not completely sane.
Wish I was picture perfect, but my life won't fit inside the frame....

I dunno what to say... It breaks you down to pieces... shatters the walls it took years build and drowns you in a sudden rush of your own memories.

but these lines with your permission i would like to keep on my profile...

Sure (:

Hhhmmm........

Brody i have been 2 the darkest places anyone can go and have had taken the drugs 2 try 2 numb the pain ii lost everything i loved and ever cared 4 and lost my soul and life 2 the drugs that numbed my pain all i can say is u cant get no lower but you can get thrw it and if u dnt try then yes u have made that decision 2 live and suffer the hell u r in and if i can crawl my way bk up then anyone can just dnt dismiss it there is no such thing as cant and u will get through this Xx

beautiful post; the honesty is searing and tragic and hopefully beautiful all at the same time! It reminds me of a lot I'm going through in my own life right now...thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you and you're welcome (:

This is brutally beautiful...I love it!!! Thank you for sharing :-)

Thank you! ^______^