Who Is The Real Me?

I stand on my own mountain,
Looking down on my life,
Seeing it for the first time,
The race coming close,
All those emotions finally catching up,
Will I fall from the cliff,
Land into the arms of freedom?
I am so tired of these vultures,
Keep on building my hope,
Keep knocking them down,
Born from a wreckage,
Raised in a flooded sea,
Am I in the arms of peace?
I look upon my soul,
Seeing black and blue,
Remember that child?
One that had smiled,
Before she slipped away,
Now all that is her is me,
I will remember who I was,
but not who I am,
The life I had,
Passed me by,
All it took was one day,
I am so tired of it all,
The sun will rise over my mountain,
Shinning yet cold,
Closing my eyes,
Will the pain last forever?
Lights and darks,
So afraid to be me,
Not knowing how to smile,
When I think back on all the times,
All the times I faced myself,
Faced each day,
In the sky I see what could have been,
If I was the one to leave,
Not the innocent me,
But in my reflection,
It is not me,
It is her,
The girl I once upon a time used to be.
Who am I?
Which one is the real me,
On the outside I am breathing,
Smiling a fake smile,
On the inside,
Crying and hollow,
Life is like the blade I cut with,
It is like positioned rust,
I have had enough,
Will the wind blow in my direction again?
If I could take it all away,
Fight back and draw the line,
One step at a time,
If only,
But I guess I will never truly know.