Help

Hi there, I need help to chek this traslation.
These are the lyric of a song I wrote, the original is italian.
I've tried to do a translation in English, but I would like to make it check to someone... can you help me?

This is the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vU1V8q1XF0 

You find the translation in the youtube page... just under the video:

Thankyou.

Ale
MuddyAlex MuddyAlex
26-30, M
Dec 10, 2012