Not Really Ment To Be Read Just Need To Write

most of my life i spent raising my children i had a husband at one time when he died i lost contact with all my friends and family i just stayed inside myself and just cried alot then after two years i was praying to god and i said ok god i want to live again and please send me another man that will be my one. my best friend introdused me to this one man and i really thought he was my one . every time i tried getting close to him he would start fights after our son was born i said please if im not your one than just let me go . he bought me a ring , he would then start fights again over and over so i said are you cheating on me? he said time and time again no but he was just always mean to me so i tried harder and harder , he just put me down all the time several times i asked am i your one? if not let me go . its been four years and i just dont have anything else in me any more . i think he set out to just kill me slowly now he hugs me no kisses no nothing i know that he's not a good person but i keep praying to god to change him or heal me so i can just go on without all this pain.sometimes i just wounder if he just sits there and laughs as planning out what else he can do to keep playing his games . i never in my life met anyone who hated me so much , i really dont have anything in me any more ..... to dwaine "YOU WIN " any thing you say and yes your right
cutie2christy cutie2christy
36-40, F
Dec 13, 2012