What Would I Do Differently?

I wrote this many years ago. I haven't written in a while, so I thought I would post a few

 What would I have done differently?
Many people ask.
They all think that answering would be a simple task.
They don't often realize what is hidden behind my daily mask. 

I begin to tell them it's worthless,
for me to pick and choose.
What things that day that I should keep,
and what things I should redo.
Because time is not in your disposal,
or yours to hold onto.

 But despite all my best efforts,
I find a few things wrong.
And telling them, about these things,
was for me, like a sad song. 

I say I wouldn't ask the question,
Of why I live this life.
Of why I don't just give in,
to the pain that comes with strife

 I tell them that I care too much,
and I wish that, that could change.
I tell them I would say the words,
we often just let hang. 

I tell them that my friends in life,
sometimes seem so far away.
I wish that I could just take back time
and,all the things that we feel we have to say. 

I wish that I would have gone to her,
and told her how I feel.
I wish that I could have taken her wounds,
and magically made them heal.
I tell them that I wish I could have taken her feelings into consideration;and saved a friendship.

 I tell them I would say sorry,
to all the times I made people hurt;
to all the lies that I have told;
to my soul…for having to fit into the mold.

 I tell them I would say thank you,
to all that have helped me through.
I tell them I would try to be more helpful,
when people were feeling blue.

 I tell them that I would hold my tears,
and not let them seep so much.
I tell them I would tell my friends that I don't mean
to seem so out of touch.

 I tell them that I would try not to waste time being sad.
I tell them that I would control myself,
and not let me get so mad.

I tell them that I would care so much
about the ones I love
I tell them I would say it more,
and try to rise above 

But I say to them I can't take back,
all the things I say
,and I cant regret all of my mistakes that day.

I say that I will never know
what I should say or do,
but later when I think about it,
it all comes piling  through. 

I say to them I would want to start over,
and live the right way;
now that I know how.
But if I did I wouldn't know all that I know now.

 So I tell them that I'm glad
that I can't just take it back,
and that I have to try to move on each day;
And try to gain the qualities that I've always lacked. 

I tell them that it's good
that I'm learning from my past.
That I make sure that I'm not letting
my life go by too fast.

I tell them that I'm glad
that I have to learn from my mistakes,
and understand there is only so much,
that my heart can take.

 I tell them that I understand
I only get one chance,
and I  tell them that I realize that 
my life is like  dance.

It twists and turns,
and dips and swirls.
I have to be cautious,
with each step I take.

There are probably a few mistakes, I just copied and pasted it from my old blog.

Etceteras Etceteras
18-21, F
Jan 6, 2013