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Story Of My Life

The sound of her cries bounced the walls,
Each moment became darker,
No peace or freedom,
She clutched her heart as tears fell,
No one heard her beg for it to stop,
The dark smile spreaded across the shadows,
Each hit burned her heart,
There was a pain that tore her apart,
No hope in her eyes,
The world became cruel and cold,
No voice left,
She had no choice,
Forced to live in hell,
The sickly cracks and crunches,
No one heard her cry for help,
More and more pain,
Just a child losing her innocence,
She reached up to the sky to this place she had read about,
A place of peace,
She wanted to be there not here,
The laughs of the dark grew louder taunting her mind to break,
The pain grows worse,
Upon the eyes of the demon she looked,
They were filled with hate and sin,
Never had something looked so morbid,
Her cries grew silent,
Was this time where she would find peace?
No.
From that day she changed,
Became dark to the world and to her heart it withered,
Through the window she would look,
That place out there looked so free,
Locked in her room, her cage,
All she knew was pain,
What is love in a world so cold,
Innocence lost,
Innocence gone,
Things that could never be undone,
Building walls around her heart,
No one could see beyond the mask,
Her screams became bleak,
So much damage but it had only begun,
The bruises painted her skin,
More and more each day,
Till she came to a age,
No more ****, she had enough,
To her damaged skin she took the blade,
Out the blood poured and she showed her pain,
Each slash filled with hate and anger,
Hate towards everyone,
Anger towards the world,
What was love in this world of cold?
Her eyes showed the truth,
Broken,
Most of the children she saw at school,
They were smiling,
They were laughing,
She was hurting,
She was crying,
It got worse for her,
The demon had friends,
Mean and revolting friends that took her innocence,
It happened before but now it was worse,
There was more of them,
She was so young,
A child no more,
No innocence,
No light,
Just broken tears and scars filled with blood,
Anyone saw the mask no one saw the true being,
She grew older,
Now eleven,
She wanted to escape from this world,
She wanted to leave it all behind,
She found these pills,
They made thee sound of a rattle,
That place she had read about once,
The one so far away,
One place where she would feel safe,
She wanted to go there,
The rattle stopped rattling and silence,
Was this her freedom?
No.
She awoke to pain,
A serpent wrapped around her neck,
Thumping hearts against her chest,
Taking a deep breathe and closes her eyes,
It will be over soon,
She imagined she was in a different place,
People would call her beautiful,
No one would hurt her,
Then she opens her eyes,
It is all black,
No one hears her cry as she cries each night,
She was so young,
Alone,
She searched and found no one,
Hate,
Cold,
Cruel,
She took the blade to her skin and let the crimson flow,
No tears fell anymore,
Only her bloody blood,
No one even noticed her bruises,
Her scars,
Her flinches,
They just laughed and made her the jester of the court,
She grew older,
Her maker took her away from the demon and the darkness,
But was this her freedom? Her salvation?
No.
She watched in the corner as he drank poison,
No one hears her shout for no more,
He looked up at her,
The same look in his eyes as the demon,
Hate,
Pure hate,
She felt a thump against her head,
She felt a shock up her spine,
A sickly smile on his face,
There she was left sprawled on the floor,
Fear gone,
Just numb,
She looked in the mirror years later still living hell,
She looked into her lifeless eyes,
Once upon a times those eyes held life,
Now they are dull,
She looked in the mirror and said,
I am beautiful no matter what anyone says,
Then she laughed,
She didn't even believe that lie,
To her room she went,
Upon her scars she made more,
The stench of poison filled the air,
Again the numb came,
So many secrets,
So many secrets she never told,
The music played in her head,
She kept it hush but smiled,
To paper with a pen she wrote,
Each thing became a line,
Each thought became a verse,
Every memory became a song,
Each memory became a poem,
Then she takes the blade and blood pours more,
She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe,
So much pain,
When did she find salvation?
Never,
She looked to the sky and frowned,
That place did not exist,
It shouldn't hurt to be born,
She hurts still,
But she plays the role with the mask,
She smiles,
But on the inside she cries,
A broken soul,
 A withered heart,
Why?
She is abused,
This is her story but only short,
Upon the skies she frowns,
Upon her blade, her blood,
Upon her heart only bitter,
She smiles a fake smile,
This is her story,
This is my story,
This is who I am,
This is my story, I am a victim of abuse.
thisaccountisgone thisaccountisgone 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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wow...very intense. I'm speechless. xo

Thanks

Wow, intense, beautifully written. I was able to live in your moment and feel the pain you have and are going through.

Thanks for reading

What some adults do to children is despicable. This is so beautifully written that it breaks my heart. Life can be so beautiful, I hope you will be free to experience this someday.

You write beautifully, but it broke my heart as well :(

Thanks

This is very sad crimson :(
Please know that when we find ourselves in the darkest, coldest and loneliest places, Jesus is there to pick us up and take us into his loving arms. Cry out to Jesus and He will help you out of your despair. God bless you girl :)

I really loved it. I can relate your a lot and it shows what kin of emotions your going through. I am lost for words.

glad you liked it

This is so beautiful but so sad.

If I can find salvation so will you