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White Noise

Turning the blade,
Piercing the fragility of my skin,
Committing murder, do you not realise this sin.
Your brutality strikes me inside,
I find it hard to breath now.
Shallow breaths, heaving chest
Screaming, I crouch down.
Why can you not see what you are putting me through?
It is said that love is blind,
Have you refused to open your eyes?
Release the darkness and witness me slowly wither away.
I assure you, you will feel this way.
My heart it misses those last vital beats,
My numb body is beginning to freeze slowly.
Time stutters.
We are suspended in the moment, trapped in this cement.
You release your choking hold on me for the last time, letting me go.
A black hole is left where once the cracks showed.
BrokenGem BrokenGem 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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I think this is too figurative you should work on bringing more reality to it

cheers")