My Secret Storm (dedicated To-ryannavyseal)

BEARING THE BURDEN OF A SECRET STORM
NEVER HAD ANYONE WHO CARED
BUT WHEN I HURT MYSELF YOU BECOME FORLORN
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT, YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE

I LOVE TO SEE MY OWN BLOOD FLOW
OUT OF MY SKIN IT'S TRUE
BUT EVERY TIME I DO THE DEED
YOU GET DISAPPOINTED AND BLUE

NO ONE HAS EVER LOVED ME THE WAY YOU DO
IT'S REALLY HEART-BREAKING AND SAD
BUT WHEN I KNOW THAT YOU ARE OKAY
I BECOME JOYOUS AND GLAD

YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT BECOMES MY PAIN
WHEN YOU'RE SAD, I DOUBLE-OVER
THE LUCK I HAVE OF MEETING YOU
IS THAT OF A FOUR LEAFED CLOVER

I KNOW THAT WHAT I DO
I'M AWARE IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT
BUT IN THE SECRET STORM I BEAR
WELL, THAT'S JUST HOW I FIGHT

YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH ME NEW WAYS TO COPE
I KNOW WHAT I DO FILLS YOU WITH FRIGHT
YOU FILL ME WITH A SHRED OF HOPE
THIS STORM IT, REQUIRES FIGHT, OR, FLIGHT

THIS CURTAIN THAT I COWER BEHIND
A CURTAIN OF SCARS AND SHAME
AND YOU LIKE NONE OTHER HAVE SAID
THAT I AM NOT TO BLAME

I FEEL SO DAMNED RESPONSIBLE
I STOOD THERE AS HE TOOK HIS LIFE
THE PAIN OF SEEING HIM END IT ALL
HAS CUT ME LIKE A KNIFE

I FEEL THAT I DESERVE THE PAIN
FOR WHAT I WATCHED HIM DO
NOT FOR ATTENTION, OR PERSONAL GAIN
YOU SHOULD KNOW I DESERVE IT TOO

I NEVER WISH YOU ANY HARM
YET I CAUSE IT EVERYDAY
I WANT TO STOP, TO SOMEHOW COPE BETTER
BUT, YET I KNOW ONLY THIS WAY

I GUESS I AM JUST SO USED TO ABUSE
DOING IT TO MYSELF IS WHAT FEELS RIGHT
BUT I AM GOING TO FIND OUT HOW TO STOP
THE DEVIL WONT WIN THIS FIGHT

I MUST STOP, I MUST FIND ANOTHER WAY
I PUT YOU THROUGH SO MUCH GRIEF
THIS STORM IT PAINS AND AGONIZES ME
IT IS NOT GOING TO BE BRIEF

LOVE ME TIL I CAN LOVE MYSELF
ONE DAY I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD
BUT RIGHT NOW I'M SUSPENDED
BY THE STORMS INVISIBLE SHROUD

THIS WILL NOT BE EASY
FOR EITHER ONE OF US
I WILL ACT LOONEY
AND POSSIBLY EVEN FUSS

BUT ONLY FOR YOU WILL I TRY
TO CARRY ON WITH MY LAME ASSED LIFE
I GUESS IT'S WHY THEY SAY "TRY OR DIE"
I'D NEVER INTENTIONALLY CAUSE YOU STRIFE

WHEN I STOP I KNOW YOU'LL BE PROUD
AND I HOPE YOU KNOW IT IS YOU WHO HELPED ME THROUGH
I CUT BECAUSE I HATE MY LIFE
BUT THAT YOU ALREADY KNEW

IT'LL BE HARDER WHEN I GET THERE
I'M SURE YOU'LL BE BREATHING DOWN MY NECK
I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN *******
MY LIFE IS SUCH A WRECK

BUT FOR YOU I TRY
OH, ANYTHING I'LL DO
YOU HAVE MADE ME FEEL NEEDED AND LOVED
YOU'VE STUCK WITH ME THROUGH AND THROUGH

THE SECRET STORM I BEAR
IS A SECRET I NO LONGER BEAR ALONE
BUT SELF-MUTILATION IS WHAT I DO
I CAN'T FIGHT THIS WAR ON MY OWN

NOW I HAVE YOU
AND YOU HAVE YOUR GRIP ON ME
YOU SAID YOU HAVE NO WANT TO CONTROL
STAY HERE, THAT'S MY PLEA

I NEED YOU, I LOVE YOU
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN
YOUR LOVE, IT HAS A BEAUTIFUL GLOW
A SHIMMER AND A SHEEN

I'M TELLING YOU NOW THIS WILL TAKE TIME
THE STORM DOESN'T WANT TO PASS
SO STAY WITH ME AND HELP ME GROW
AND I'LL KICK THIS STORM'S FREAKING ***!!!