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You Against I

You see the love but I see the pain.
You see the happiness but I see the sorrow.
You see the life but I see the death.
You see the light but I see the dark.
You are the angel that saves and gives life.
I'm the angel the destroys and takes them away.
I give the hurt in life, the pain, the sadness, the hatred, the jealousy, the death.
I'm the bad guy.
You...your the smiles in life, the joy, the happiness, the life, the love.
Your the good guy.
I deserve to rot and die while you deserve to live and bloom.
If you look into the eyes of a dead man...you see me.
If you look in side the eyes of a married couple...I see you.
Your the life and I'm the death.
CelinaTheLost CelinaTheLost 16-17, F 12 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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nice :)

xEstrellax,

I am no psychologist, but I certainly see "pain" in your poetry. I am sending you soft, comforting vibes, that you find peace and happiness in the very near future.

it amazes me how many people claim to be writers but can't even exercise decent grammar. any publisher would dump this piece, regardless of the quality, just for that reason alone.

Back off k

Okay I know it sucks, thanks for your opinion! :)

I don't believe poetry follows the same guidelines as actual writing. Plus, this is the girl's first poem

@AzulLitel Just giving my professional opinion. I never commented on the quality of the piece. I'm a writer myself, not a critic.

@xEstrellax very welcome

@CelestriaWolf poetry IS actual writing, and the only people I've heard think otherwise also have a lack of respect for the art. sure, you can get away with shuffling words around, lacking or excessive punctuation, lack or excessive capitalization, but you can't get away with using the wrong forms of your/you're

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two things ......I know your gay and pretending to be guy

WTF? Really lol? A guy, is that the best thing you got? Wow get a life! I have more serious things in my life right now instead of you trying to lie to your self!

i just said so to get your attention. Anyway I just wanted you to be more optimistic in the way you look at your life. What darkness can you add on darkness ....nothing ..Try to spark a little ligt honey....I apologize ....i didnt mean to make you mad .....no not a bit

Good, you should write more poetry and let the pain drift out into peace once more.

incredible. u r amazing gurl

With a step I look to you, I see rest and peace, for with the overcoming of sorrow and pain comes a strength ever bounding and for ever lasting, while it shall be the jealousy and hatred that shall bring out our inner most desires it is death that shall put us to rest and bring fourth our peace that is promised to us as a reward of fullfilling our lives to the greatest goals we had stride to achieve, plucking our dreams from the sky, while it is I who brings the false emotions of safety that bring fourth our happiness, our joy, and the love in a couples eyes, I cloud the judgement and bring upon the people a warming embrace, I shall be the bad guy if looked at closely, while the abscured vision shows the truth of your purity.

This is really good. How I feel a lot but I have pushed my self to not be negative and it has lightned up my life. I feel happier now! Please try to do the same and I'm here for you.if you need it.. just pm me and I will try to help asap.

I think this poem is beautiful but i also think its a lie, you arent the bad guy in fact i am willing to place my life on the fact that you are probably a better person than me. Other than the negativity about yourself i think this poem is really good and you should write more often.

This is lovely....bot bad at all i just want u to be happy

This pretty much describes how my friend felt before she left me... :( (It was a great poem.)

Oh really? :(

Happened today...

Wow, why she leave?

Didn't want to go on living anymore... I spent all night, and all of this morning trying to save her. I nearly had a heart attack. (Not exaggerating.)

Who knows, she might still be okay...

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This isnt bad its great :)

Really? Lol its my first so idk I just thought it sucked so bad that it didn't even deserve to be called a poem lol!