A Broken Sister Relationship.

 

When we were younger we used to be friends

We used to play horsie and rider or dress ups.

You and I were the best of companions.

We shared the same room, we shared the same birthday, we shared our friends.

We had the same school, and were in the same class.

People used to talk about our sisterly bond.

About how we would always be friends

And how amazing you were at protecting your sister.

 

 

Then suddenly everything crashed.

Something within you changed.

You became rebellious and devilish

You picked a fight about everything, just for the sake of making me cry.

 

You told ‘our’ friends the worst lies about me

Of course they believed you, they chose you over me.

And so I not only lost your friendship but theirs as well.

 

You began to teach the little kids

When you told me to **** off,

 or to shut up,

 or those names I won’t mention

or that you hated me

The children imitated you, they did the same

It killed me every time I heard such words come from them.

They were tiny children, of course they’d listen to you.

They never listened to me, they always chose you over me.

Every time I walked through the door

I heard a five year old scream **** off Ellen, at the top of her little voice

It hurt me badly, I didn’t ever face it, I just did what they said

And walked out again

The image of you smirking behind my back, and praising them for their nasty words.

 

I would shamefully hide under my bedcovers

I use to make myself listen to their muffled shouts of laughter

as you gave them piggy rides just to torture myself that little bit more.

In the dark secret hiding place I would let the tears come.

I would curse you and wish you to hell

Until the curses and rivers ran dry.

 

I loved it whenever you walked out of the house,

And it was just me and the little ones

They would become themselves again,

They wouldn’t be those nasty imitations of you.

But as soon as you walked into the house

They would change, and I would have to walk away.

 

They worshipped the ground you walked on

They loved you and looked up to you.

And you just USED them.

You brain washed them.

 

Its not fair, I’ve spent years copping this from you.

I’m not allowed to even be in the same room as you.

 

If I’m in the kitchen you refuse to be there.

If I’m eating dinner at the table for once,

You scream at me and threaten me into moving to another room

If I once try to defy you,

You threaten me and start to throw everything in your path at me

You ALWAYS win,

I’m terrified of you, I can see the look of hate in your eyes

You HATE me, you don’t love me anymore and I can tell

 

I HATE YOU, I HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU

 

For YEARS I’ve tried to hold on to that thread of love I had for you,

I tried to understand you

I tried to talk to you, but you never let me

You hate everything about me,

you won’t even let me talk at the table without you telling me to stop talking.

 

Out of desperation I peeped in your diary when I was bout 8 years old/

All I found was page after page of  “I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER”

 

Mom has dragged you off to a psychologist

And they all say that there’s not a chance that you’re ready to talk to me.

 

I wonder what have I done?  WHAT did I do to make you so angry?

 

I can’t go on like this.

This unbearable silence from you.

Every room I enter I hear this continous stream of abuse form you.

 

Why should I MOVE just because you can’t bear to be in the same room?

WHY CAN’T YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM INSTEAD?????

WHY MUST I BE THE ONE TO LOCK MYSELF UP?

GET A LIFE, GROW UP, I just want to scream and pull your hair out

I want to force some sense into her

I want to make her feel what I'm feeling

I want her to just get over her problem and move ON!

deleted deleted
26-30
3 Responses Sep 27, 2008

I thought the same thing about my sister being like my father, but she managed to change. Took her a while and a wake up call, but she did it, so Hopefully SO does yours.

hmm...

MY GOD!!!!!!! I've heard this stories from you, but everytime I read about her it makes me angry how she treats you. I believe sisters should be together forever. Have a bond like no other person can. Sisters and brothers. They're supposed to stand up for each other, because they're the only ones who truley know what the other one is feeling, cause they know what's happening in a household. You can't expect a friend to understand how having an abusive father is, unless they have one too, but brothers and sisters. They know, cause they're there too. Wish your sister would change to her old self again. Be a friend instead of an enemy. I think just a little time, should be enough. Enough time for her to open her eyes and see the truth. I pray to God that she stops treating like this. For I believe nobody can stay that way forever. Nobody. (accept maybe my father), but she's not him.