Lifes Lessons

at your absence i feel amiss
inside me there is a gaping abyss

without you with me i cannot think
i see ur face evrytime i blink

my heart yearns for your presence!
your being! anything! your essence!!

i need you, sweetheart, to me your everything
now im lost, im empty, im nothing

its too late to build the bridge u burnt
and so i guess this is it, at least i learnt

not to trust and love so freely
but to keep my feelings, hidden deeply

now i kno, thers no happiness, only pain
things arnt simple, easy or plain

thank you for these lessons my precious pearl
ill miss you forever and more, my beloved girl

argh.. i kno, im too obssesed with rhyming >< i think its caus i read too many dr suess books wen i was little =P
any tips for letting go of the rhyming would be much aprecciated

deleted deleted
1 Response Feb 23, 2009

rhyming is not a bad thing, I still use it in most of my poems, but you are right, the rhyme schemes in your poems are too strict and detract from the poem a bit.<br />
<br />
I would try reading some professional free verse poetry to get the feel of it and normalize it within your creative self, and try writing a few poems where you just let go of rhyme and rhythm and write whatever comes to you, it wont be your best work, but you might find a gem or two that you can build upon and make some really good poetry with, rhyming or not, whatever you want