The Ballad of Sheriff Pixie Pete

A dark solemn shadow fell over the land
The goblins were running amuck
Good folk were wary and feared for their lives
They'd run out of leprechan's luck

So they sent out a summons for a hero or two
For one who would face down the gang
But no one expected the answer they got
He rode into town with a bang

I'm Sheriff Pixie Pete
And I cannot be beat
So all you goblins had better retreat

He was small for a pixie, just a scant inch or two
Though he wore a six-gun on each hip
He rode into town on a cricket named Sam
He walked tall, and would stand for no lip

A young fairy giggled, then a dwarf laughed aloud
They pointed and everyone stared
Pete straightened his hat and dismounted from Sam
Then he hitched up his panted and he glared

I'm Sheriff Pixie Pete
And I cannot be beat
I tell you I'll whup every goblin I meet

Now Pete wasn't daunted, he'd faced this before
It's tough when you're not of great size
He heard all the laughter, he waited and smiled
Then he got a strange look in his eyes

Pete pulled out a six-gun and fired off a round
The crowd backed away in a rush
Pete stared them all down, then tipped his hat
He bowed low then spoke in the hush

I'm Sheriff Pixie Pete
And I cannot be beat
I challenge the goblin with the smelliest feet

Now if you know goblins, or maybe just heard
They take pride in the stench of their toes
When a goblin is near, it's no secret for long
You can tell by the burn in your nose

Three champions were chosen to face up with Pete
Gross-out Jim, Stinky Sally, and Bob
Pixie Pete stood there smiling, a gun in each hand
He was ready to wipe out this mob

-he sang-
I'm Sheriff Pixie Pete
And I cannot be beat
I've never met goblins who's feet smelled so sweet

Goblin ears were now burning, they were gnashing their teeth
They hated the words that he'd said
Those nearsighted goblins couldn't see Pixie Pete
They were looking right over his head

The goblins were howling and stamping their feet
Then the three let out a great roar
Though they couldn't see Pete, they attacked anyway
In a group the charged 'cross the floor

-Pete was singing-
I'm Sheriff Pixie Pete
And I cannot be beat
I'll finish this battle, it will be short and sweet

Now if you should visit, the goblins are gone
They eventually wandered away
But there in the village you'll find Pixie Pete
It seems he decided to stay

Way up on a hilltop you'll find his new home
In a clearing surrounded by pines
You'll know when you get there, it's easy to see
His new place is marked with a sign

Here lies Sheriff Pixie Pete
Turns out he could be beat
He got stepped on and squashed by big goblin feet
TexasGrandpa TexasGrandpa
56-60, M
Aug 21, 2014