The Horrors of Wax

I got home from work the other night

And headed straight upstairs.

I ran at once to the bathroom

Determined to get rid of these hairs!

 

I took out the dreaded cold wax set

And pulled a ***** apart.

I was too afraid to start you see

Cause waxing is an art!

 

Brilliant! Oh clever me!

An idea to heat the strips!

Rather than rub it between my hands,

Just wait... You're gonna love this!

 

I placed a ***** upon my leg,

and turned on my hairdryer.

Heated the ***** and pulled it off,

The pain wasn't quite so dire.

 

The legs were done, nice and smooth,

I'd never been so proud.

I decided to do my bikini line,

Well... I've never screamed so loud!

 

The pain! It burned! My eyes were squeezed shut!

I knew I had to open them.

I knew though, once I'd seen the *****

I'd be quite the boastful femme.

 

I opened my eyes and looked at the *****,

Ready to see my prize.

Only half the ***** came off

Much to my demise!

 

I close my eyes, and bite my lip,

And pull the ***** again.

Oh God somebody kill me

I cannot stand the pain!

 

Now I look at the wax *****,

And you'll never guess what?

There's no wax on it,

Not even a tiny dot!

 

I look down and realise

The wax is stuck to me.

I'm all sealed up down there!

Someone please set me free!!!!!

 

What do I do? What do I do?

(You're gonna love this!)

I'll run a really hot bath,

The wax should come off then... Bliss!

 

Nope... I was wrong... And now

Not only am I all sealed up,

I'm stuck to the bottom of the bath!

This would be just my luck!

 

The razor, of course! I'll shave it off!

Yes you guessed it right.

My razor got stuck down there too

And now it's out of sight!

 

Then I remember! Of course!

The cream to get off the remaining hair.

I rub it on as quick as I can

Not showing a bit of care.

 

I'm free! Thank God! Wait, what's this?

The hair is all still there!

Why did this happen to me?

It's so completely unfair!!

 

At this stage, I've had enough,

I'll just dryshave the lot!

I'm gone completely numb by now

So it doesn't hurt a spot.

 

So that's my horror story of wax,

I hope you laugh till you cry.

I was thinking maybe next week

I'll try a bottle of hair dye!

babesface babesface
22-25, F
Mar 18, 2009