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I Shut My Eye's.

I lay upon the soggy grass

& look up to the sky,           

I watch all the airplanes,

& clouds that float on by.

I once saw happy pictures,

 up in those puffy clouds,

now all i see is demons ,

& how I've done them proud.

I pull up clumps of earth,

& squish them in my hands,

the promises never done,

and all forgotten plans.

I close my eyes to the world

the sun beams through my lids

I dont like thinking of my life,

 no, not one little bit,

Who am I becoming ?

Why do I feel this way ?

& when I shut my eyes

why wont it go away?

a tear runs into my ear,

a shiver down my spine,

why am I still lying here ?

when I still have so much time.

I open up my tired eyes

how long have they been shut ?

 

 

 

caroli9 caroli9 36-40, F 76 Responses Jan 30, 2007

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wow!

Nice poem :)

good poem

It has only been a minute
Get up and get on with your life
And you can let go of the earth
Your visions and strife

They are not real it is all in your head
You can still change the next minute
And the ones after that
Keep changing them
Until you are dead

Why am i still here? Its like there's something im spose to or ment to do and I dont know if I'll ever figure out what that is. I've not been the best I could be. I've been awfull to myself and a lot of others. Am I ment to do something or just stay lost?

I can understand, I have my own demons who I give into more often than I should. I hate the way my past has influenced my present and it is so difficult to move on. The past still rears it's ugly head when I'm not expecting it, making it very hard to accept myself as I am, and become what I wanted to be all along.

I can relate to tears in the ears. I use to lay in the grass in my yard when I was young and listen to the hustle and bustle of my neighbourhood around me. I would hear my sisters and their friens playing in the yard laughing, giggling, telling stories but I was not allowed because I was a boy. Inside I knew I was a girl but I was punished by my mom when I told her. So as I lay on the grass I had tears running into my ears. I did have my imagination where I would imagine I was one of the girls running and playing the games. So my tears in my ears may have been of joy, although I still have those same tears today. billieannejames

Dear Jenni,
This is surprise... or .. a new vision? tear in the ear? i need to understand what you mean?

When you lay down with your head facing up, if you cry enough the tears can roll down your face and get into your ears.

I concur and feel this poem.

So good! Great imagination! This has a great sense of imagery

Great imagery and feeling!

Good to know I'm not the only one who feels this. Thank you.

Beautiful

A sad sorrow :(

weak pictures but great spirit keep moving.

That's amazing!

Gripping and thought provoking

i really loved and enjoyed it. thanks for sharing

I love it.

Beautiful. However, it seems unfinished. The end makes you wonder if you are considering a new beginning, or if you are just accepting the way things are. I think you should continue this one. : )

I love this, so desc<x>riptive and it flows so elegantly. bravo ^_^

thank you

these words...sent shivers in me. Keep writing! :)<br />
"I lay upon the soggy grass<br />
& look up to the sky, <br />
I watch all the airplanes,<br />
& clouds that float on by"

i like it

Wow I love it! I like your style! Made me cry a little because I know what you mean about how those things used to bring you comfort... Watching planes, clouds, playing in the dirt and grass... I love it :)

wow

thank you, a reflective poem

I lay upon the soggy grass<br />
I looked up to the sky<br />
I watched the Flying Scotsman pass<br />
And then I ate a pie.

This is phenomenal :)

Sums up my own feelings!

I dig the simplicity.

Well written :)

I loved it that was deep, you have talent

Loved it. Just brilliant!

beautiful,,,,

Fantastic! Great job. Very desc<x>riptive. Made me think. Good questions to think about.<br />
I could visualize and feel the emotions behind it. xD

I really like this one. Perfect how it is

What more can I say? Nothing , really

thats so good ! :)

It is very good. Nicely done. But, eyes shouldn't have an apostrophe. Except for that, I think you are really onto something good here. I do hope that this is simply an exercise in imagery, and not how you really feel. It feels very self defeating. As though you are feeling negative towards yourself.

TRULY A MASTERPIECE AND I TOTALLY RELATE TO YOU.THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MIDLIFE CRISIS!!!BIG,FAT,GIANT HUGS AND KNOW YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT!!!YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL NOT TO!!!CHEERS!!!

Very touching!! i like it <3

Beautiful, and what a wonderful picture you have drawn with your words. :) Much enjoyed this one.

brilliant, perfect!... loved it!

i like how you asked questions in the poem

You have an ability with language & imagery. Can i suggest you take out all the apostrophes because they have nothing to do with plural - only contraction or ownership. If you don't you will lose the pedantic section of your readers who will wrongly think (from the apostrophe in the title) you don't have a command of language.

amazing !

very beautiful and desc<x>riptive, has alot of power.

Nicely put. I really feel you.

WoW.<br />
You got a talent!<br />
I love this poem!<br />
It's beautiful.

Love it. .forgive me,but it just came out aotomatically whwn I read it:. <br />
."a tear runs into my ear<br />
and shivers down my spine . .." (?)<br />
<br />
Anyway,this how our poets over here would have (over?)dramatised it. . .meaning the force of the tear is so . .but of course,you will know all about that.

Exquisite imagery.. and so very relatable.

Amazing poem.I could picture everything.

go on with it, it feels a little open ended, but NICE WORK

this is beautiful

In love with this poem. So good.

That's a powerful piece of poetry... I can really feel your pain. Keep writing!

Good good. <br />
The rhymes were there, you could make this one into a song.. Acoustic. It would be great.

i think your style of poetry is awesome i love it. this made me think a little i love things that make me think :)

Wow this one is really good!

I love your poem, thank you for sharing it with us! :]

your words carry a lot of personality and took me by surprise because this was the first time I open this site and was expecting to read something lighter<br />
if i tell you i am writing inside a cell of a sup. max. security prison would you believe me?<br />
a poet behind mars find very little to inspire his words but it's not my case.<br />
if you do believe me , let me know.<br />
i will send you a poem that might make you smile and a bit happier

your words carry a lot of personality and took me by surprise because this was the first time I open this site and was expecting to read something lighter<br />
if i tell you i am writing inside a cell of a sup. max. security prison would you believe me?<br />
a poet behind mars find very little to inspire his words but it's not my case.<br />
if you do believe me , let me know.<br />
i will send you a poem that might make you smile and a bit happier

your words carry a lot of personality and took me by surprise because this was the first time I open this site and was expecting to read something lighter<br />
if i tell you i am writing inside a cell of a sup. max. security prison would you believe me?<br />
a poet behind mars find very little to inspire his words but it's not my case.<br />
if you do believe me , let me know.<br />
i will send you a poem that might make you smile and a bit happier

Beautiful

nice sharing!

i wonder did u mean it from ur heart

such dispair. when you can evoke a random emotion from someone that is talent and i was feeling very happy before i read this. i will be happy again, but you made me feel hopeless with your words! great job!

it was incredible i think you have talent it touches the reader thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing. : )<br />
<br />
I would have ended it with <br />
<br />
I open up my tired eye's<br />
<br />
how long have they been shut ?<br />
<br />
I jumped up from my spot<br />
<br />
and dusted off my butt. <br />
<br />
I'm just saying,,,,

Nah, it would have ruined the mood.

THAT WOULD NOT BE TRUE...

Thank you for sharing. It was real and I found it resonating something in me too. Thank you.

i really enjoyed and it made me feel comforted

u are very talented no doubt about that, u give great imagery but i felt it is not complete.

Very thoughtful poetry!

very nice

I like that one a lot, you are talented