So-called Happiness

i spend my days searching for this so-called happiness

but can only seem to find constant chaos

where is this happiness that people speak of

is it in that bottle of Bourbon

i drink till the bottle is empty but all i have is a glass bottle

i gouge on eccentric food till my belt buckle bends and gets distorted

but still i feel so empty

engaging in things with people that i once thought only happened in seedy movies

only leaves me sweaty and tied

i yearn for this so-called happiness but where could it be

working shift after shift to pretend i am rich

but my payment is isolation

till i woke up one evening and i had discovered what it is i have been searching

i spent my days searching for this so-called happiness

but it isn't out there

happiness was with me the hole time

i just never dreamed that happiness was in my heart