Rosy View

I remember, long ago,
back when I did not know what I did not know,
when every emotion was raw, intense,
and I overestimated my common sense.

I recall, back in the day,
how I felt everyone should feel my way,
and every choice I made was certain,
and every pang was a major hurt, &

every decision I made was decisive,
and most of my observations derisive,
and looking hard, no one would ever see
how inside I quivered with uncertainty.

I look way back, through all those years,
past all the joy and all those tears,
I can see the girl I saw back then,
and I have to smile as I remember when

I was young and strong and sure and proud,
and my facade was brave and pure -- and loud!--
but behind the mask I was scared and shy.
So eager to be liked by the other guy.

It was all-encompassing, that need to fit in.
I look back at that girl with a sense of chagrin.
Because the person I am now is reverse of that other.
Although I have "common" roles: self, wife and mother.

I am a true individual, I'm happy to say.
I wouldn't respect myself any other way.
So I follow my journey, one day at a time,
and muse at how then-me and now-me combine.

And I ponder, just when on that trip do you suppose
I learned to treasure me-thorn, as well as me-rose?

Written by SleepyMom. 2/15/10

SleepyMom SleepyMom
41-45, F
3 Responses Feb 15, 2010

Thanks to each of you who enjyed this and told me so either here or privately. I think, personally, it's a topic and message everyone can apply to their own experience. I hope so, anyway. If<br />
a person failed to see how personal growth and gaining perspective<br />
applied to them, it would make me very sad.

Aido, thank you. Your comments assure me my poem does what I wrote it for. Now, let's hope that the older folks who read it will regain perspective, too. I never understood why there can so often be such tension between generations, but I think much of it is because younger people are ready for a mad dash into life, and older people have become more calm and cautious and have forgotten what it meant to have a fit, youthful body and the anticipation of life ahead of you. I saw your profile is blocked (very wise, young 'un!) but I hope to see you around EP. If you read any of my other writings, you'll see I'm a safe person to use as a sounding board if you need one. (my nieces are all grown past that now, my nephews would NEVER go to Aunt Val, and my own kids are still under ten. I miss being the cool Aunt to go to!). Take care!

I really enjoyed reading this. I guess I'm kind of still in the stage your writing about looking back on. In a strange way, kind of put things into perspective.