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Words...

Words…
They used to be my refuge and my saving grace.
Now…
You are gone, and you took my words with you.
For all these months…
I’ve struggled
Desperate to purge my sorrow
By pouring out my agony through words
Instead of tears.
But the words won’t come.
The pain is just too deep.
There are no words…
Nothing to describe the depths of loneliness
…and sadness
…and anger
No words…
None to paint a picture of the darkness
…and fear
…and regret
No words…
To adequately express the feelings
…To help me grieve.
There is only the dull ache
Deep within my heart
As I replay every memory of you
…and look toward the future
without you by my side.
There is only the cold
As I long to feel those arms
…wrapping me in your warm embrace…
Tears, burning at my eyes
With the memory…
Of the steady rhythm of your heart pounding in my ear
While I stood pressed against your chest.
The words went with you...
As I watched the life flow from you…
and felt your heart go silent beneath my outstretched hand.
I wanted to trace every line and pore…
Hoping that the memory would stay.
I wanted to remember every inch of you…
Just as you were…
Because I was afraid I would forget…
Just as I have forgotten the words…
The words…
I need to put on paper…
So I can heal.

teagranny teagranny 51-55, F Apr 2, 2010

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