The Camp 5

Cheer up man, said Alfred. Trying to his fullest ability to cheer his friend up. Fred looked at Alfred and said, How can I cheer up she will tell me yes or tomorrow morning!!!! Do you know how frustrating that is? Alfred was thinking. He thought and thought until he started to make an evil but happy smile. A grin that would beat the joker with no sweat. Fred leaned in with huge eyes. Wait, you have an idea and it must be good for your grin to be bigger than the jokers. Alfred nodded and pulled his friend out of the cafeteria and into their cabin. He went to his bunk and pulled his luggage out from underneath his bed. Fred leaned in to see what his friend had brought with him. Alfred kneeled down to unlock his things on the floor. Arranging each bag like it was a computer station. Okay Fred so here is my A.W.S.O.M.E plan. Fred did not speak but listened. So Fred, open the suit case and there will reveal your solution. Fred quickly shoved his friend to move and opened the suit case at the speed of light............ He looked inside and there was absolutely -nothing- Fred grabbed a fist full of Alfreds shirt and said, ARE MAKING FUN OF ME?!?!?!?! Alfred said no and that the suit case was holding a message which basically ment that the empty suit case stand for the solution to his problem. He must do nothing
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26-30
2 Responses Jan 21, 2013

Kilnia, don't be discouraged by my post, or my self-publicity. I was just trying to show some knowledge of creative writing. Stick with it xxx

If you are aged 13 to 15, well done for attempting to write a story. Basic tips to help you improve: (1) Always read your work out loud and double check spelling and punctuation before posting. (2) Show, not tell. Google this, it will make a big difference to your writing. (3) What characters say to each other makes or breaks a story. (4) Try a shorter story, say 200 words, with a beginning, a middle and a twist at the end. (5) It's ok to write rubbish, we all do. The art of writing is to sift through the original rubbish, pick out the good bits, re-work it, then re-work it, then re-work it again. Result: A story to be proud of. Good luck. Hope to read more of your stories. Check out my latest book, Fifty Coffee Break Short Stories, only 79p to download.