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I Write Short Stories

What A Man Wants Most

By: grayday104
Written on February 9th, 2013
Age: 22-25 , Male
679 people have read this story

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54 responses
  • sprain

    hah! love this story! interesting twist. glad that Jack had his happily ever after. The sandman, bogey man and tooth fairy kinda reminds me of the cartoon The guardian.

    May 5
    1 like
    • grayday104

      You mean that new film Rise of The Guardians?

      May 5
      1 like
    • sprain

      oh yeah, that one =)

      May 5
      1 like
  • ShybutSweetGirl

    again, wow. I wish i had the discipline to actually sit down and write. I do day dream alot, if only i could put that down on paper. I guess being a writer would involve some amount of talent yes, but also some nerve to resist not getting up and out of there until whatever in is your head is written down,,, or typed...

    Apr 25
    1 like
    • grayday104

      I doesn't take that much discipline considering all I think about is women

      Apr 25
      2 likes
  • willowmypetbunny

    I think I would be Emily in this story :)

    Apr 24
    1 like
  • alixi

    Quite interesting! You could work on some of the grammar but good plotline!

    Apr 4
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks my grammar kinda got rusty from writing poetry

      Apr 4
      1 like
  • Menty24

    I found this to be very cool, I wish I could see it as a show! Your a great writer.

    Feb 17
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks you aren't the first to say that wish I had the connections to make it happen

      Feb 17
      1 like
    • Menty24

      I know.. You ever tried to send your work to a publisher maybe?

      Feb 17
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Couldn't get my foot in the door

      Feb 17
      1 like
    • Menty24

      Geez, so harsh. Well, I wish you the best because your writing is just truly amazing. Its a gift!

      Feb 17
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Aww stop it my head is big enough

      Feb 17
      1 like
    2 More Replies
  • sparke7722

    so good, loved it!

    Feb 13
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks please rate up the stories you like

      Feb 13
      1 like
    • sparke7722

      sure thing :)

      Feb 13
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Thank you this is my first real attempt with short stories

      Feb 13
      1 like
  • Bob68k

    Well, Im not a critique when it comes to stories or novels. This was not bad though. I see you have some talent and like to write which is great. You have a nice theme here and some good lines. Keep it up and your craft will only get better. Also, read books and then read some more ! All the best, Bob K.

    Feb 12
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks I've been writing for a long time mostly in poetry this is my attempt at branching out a bit

      Feb 12
      1 like
  • breakingdawnOne

    Wow, that was really good stuff, enjoyed it.

    Feb 10
    1 like
  • rageandhate

    Wow that was great!!!

    Feb 10
    1 like
  • 2011A

    I loved it for the second time! kissessssssssssssssssssssss....Do write more short stories, gray! xox

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Okay thanks you always get me blushing

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • 2011A

      But I still think the ending needs something for the two. Something at least promising...One day you will not blush. You will just know what I am saying is true. xxo

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Oh I thought happily ever after covered it

      Feb 10
      1 like
  • djw1

    sorry to wierd for me

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • grayday104

      it's okay to each their own

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • djw1

      thank you and I didn't realize it was dream until I went back and finished reading it, cute! but not like my dreams

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      yeah I'm more familiar with little boy's dreams

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • djw1

      Thank you for being so understanding, of course you know what it feels like to want a female to look at you seriously, as I know what it feels like to want a man to hold me......

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Well I just know people are entitled to their opinions and shouldn't be beaten up for them

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • djw1

      thank you!

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      You're welcome thanks for taking the time to read it

      Feb 10
      1 like
    4 More Replies
  • SmartSweet1

    It takes a lot to capture my attention and hold it when it comes to writing etc. You did a great job! Very unique, very clever, witty and a great read! Thank you!

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks for the feedback!

      Feb 10
      1 like
  • calicuz

    Wow, that was awesome, I thought I was reading a Hollywood screen play. Really great stuff.

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks I've had a real good day please rate up the ones you like

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • calicuz

      That was so good I spent coins to rate it up even more. :D

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks you know this all flowed out of me real easily the hardest part of it was starting I haven't done this type of writing much and just wasn't confident in myself about it I think I may try branching out more after this

      Feb 10
      1 like
  • Demonizer

    OMFG!!! IT'S AWESOME! I am smiling. Wow, a lot of surprises and it's funny and interesting. I like the way you use your imagination. Great ending as well. One of the funniest parts was Jack gliding saying she said yes she said yes. Oh and the entry of the bogey man! Wow, just wow. It's great. I had fun reading it. You're quite good.

    Feb 10
    1 like
    • grayday104

      Thanks I just took one of my poems and expanded it http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Write-Poetry/2722838 This actually all based off my bro he's afraid of the dark cause I spooked him once in the middle of the night

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • Demonizer

      wow cool. it's pretty cool. :)

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Well I'd take it back if I could

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • Demonizer

      omg, i am sorry. is he still scared of the dark? i thought you were joking.

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Yes but it's not as severe It was just some childish prank I had no idea how it'd affect him

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • Demonizer

      aww... it happens. He'll be fine.

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Yeah I know I'm the older bro its my job to worry about him

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • Demonizer

      You're a good brother to your siblings :)

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      Not always but I'm human What do you think the 104 in my user name stands for? Hint I'm the eldest I have 3 younger sibs

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • Demonizer

      eldest 1 of 4?

      Feb 10
      1 like
    • grayday104

      "Ding Ding what do we have for her Johnny??"Jim Carey in Liar Liar

      Feb 10
      1 like
    8 More Replies