Three Little Pigs the Remake
Once upon a time there were three pigs. The pigs were pissed off at the big bad retarded wolf that kept trying to eat them so they made a plan. One day early in the morning the three little pig’s built houses, the first piggy made his house out of chainsaws, the second piggy made his house out of knives, and the last piggy made his house out of glass bottles each filled with liquid nitrogen and acid. For the first and second piggy they put pads on the inside of the houses so not to get hurt and wore gloves so they wouldn't get hurt. The third piggy he also had pads inside of his home and had on gloves to protect himself. The next day the big bad retarded wolf walked to the three little pig’s house before he came there he met a fairy that gave him three lives. He stopped at the first house and just as he inhaled to blow down the first pig’s house a piece of chain from the chain sawed made house got stuck in throat. He started choking on it tipped forward bumping into the house, suddenly the chainsaws started up sawing him to pieces sending his guts everywhere. The first piggy in the house had set up a monitor so he saw what happened to the wolf and laughed his *** off. The second day the wolf came back to life and went to the second house. Just as he was about to kick open the door the knives impaled him head to toe, then the second little piggy came out of his house and grabbed the knives that were impaled in the big bad retarded wolf and jerked them down up and around slicing open the big retarded wolfs body. Then on the third day the big bad retarded wolf went to the third pig’s houses tried to sneak into the window but then the wall collapsed on him. The third piggy designed the house so that if one wall collapsed the house would still stand; the shards were em
I'm gonna rewrite Humpty Dumpty next.