Coming BackThe forest is so mysterious at night, particularly this time of year, when the mists roll in. It crawls through the shadows, like a living portal to places unknown – even seeming to breathe, as she flows with the still-cool currents of early spring. She is whispering to me, with those breaths, in long sighs and soft moans. I know it is because words would only diminish her meaning and intent. It is up to me to understand so, I lie in the clearing, the damp grass prickling my flesh, and close my eyes – willing my heart to open and know what the ears may not. When one gives so much to speak so deeply, it transcends the usual rules regarding communication. She enters me as I have allowed her in and I do not fear, though that was not always true.
There was a time when she frightened me her seeking tendrils made me cringe and shudder. I was never foolish enough to deny her, but permission does not preclude fear. Now, her touch is like cool water on my fevered flesh – there is nothing more soothing, even when I forget my cravings. It comes back to me, sometimes violently, knocking air and consciousness from me, but it is always blissful. And I learned that brutality does not preclude ecstasy.
I open my eyes and see with her the first rays of a morning sun slicing through the haze. The trees seem to dance within the flickering, tangible light – eddies drawing in and pushing against the corporeal existences which intertwine. In this moment, the world seems insubstantial and more dream than reality. There is magic afoot in the cool, damp, northern mornings, and it searches for playmates. You will be taken, should you allow the dance to entice you among the darker places. Perhaps that is what you want. I cannot deny there is much delight to be had, if one can ignore the agonizing screams. Then again, perhaps that is the very thing which has enchanted you here.
Can you see me, in the clearing? The sun now lights my face, most of the fog having sunk back into the loam, or vanished in the warming rays. Forgive my state and do not be afraid. If you feel compelled, I invite you, on behalf of my sister who even now sees you behind my veiled eyes. She wants your company and I cannot find fault in this, or blame, if you choose to take that next step. For now, as you are, you stand just beyond her reach. Come to me and I will show you her face. And you will know. But, my love, you will also find trepidation.
That should not come as a shock but I have seen more than one in hopeless retreat after entering here. There is love and light and hope and peace and contentment. But, only a fool would believe that is possible to attain without pain and fear and betrayal and rage and sadness. If you never forget that you chose this path and cling to the good, the bad will seem surmountable and less threatening. Only false promises offer any other reality and I would suggest those should be avoided. Now, take a deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome to life.
deleted 26-30 3 Responses 5 Nov 18, 2011