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Anna

By: Freestanding
Written on May 20th, 2008
Age: 51-55 , Female
1,497 people have read this story

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30 responses
  • Freestanding

    Thank you, Ari. Thank you very much.

    May 16, 2011
    1 like
  • AlmostAristotle

    Now that is a story. A proper short story, Splendidly concieved and beautifully illustrated.

    Thanks for that.

    Ari.

    May 14, 2011
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Shucks, girl. Thanks.

    Jul 15, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    :)

    Jun 11, 2008
    1 like
  • juan1966

    I appreciate the rythm created by "until the preacher came on Sunday". What a clever way to enhances the sense of irony.

    Jun 11, 2008
    1 like
  • ColorMeReal

    Wow, awesome story. I look forward to more.

    May 27, 2008
    1 like
  • BrutMystik

    CH-words, are always fun to read. That is the beautiful thing about writing and visual art...there ARE so many nuances. In the begining, she is on the hill, above the miserable, rotting house looking at it. On the verge of escape...but she ends up right back where she started, and worse. Or maybe better...it is hard to say.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    BrutMystik -- I didn't catch that subtlety. For some reason, I love the sentence, "Dark smoke chugged from the chimney." Just really is enjoyable to read.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • BrutMystik

    Also, the opening lines about how she is standing on the mountain looking down at the tiny shack-VERY CLEVER...it mimcs the action, philosophy and inverts the emotional structure of the story. DDAAYYYUUUUMMMMM. That is a Professional insight.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    I think a mob is going to decend on this story and keep pestering SFM until she promises to write more.



    *grabbing my shovel*

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    You're making me feel all squishy inside.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    The curse of the damn shovel.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Mello

    Oh my! You had me so happy for her future... Damn shovel.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • BrutMystik

    Thanks, Alan! That made me feel weird, but good! I wish I could get some help with the kids, though...deadbeat words...

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Published? Hardly.





    Watch it Jess. Like I said this system is highly advanced!

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    SFM -- Listen to BrutMystik. She has an amazing relationship with words and knows great writing when she sees it.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    I have ways of detecting cloaking devices, Jess. It is a highly advanced system.



    Besides, you're too pretty to be hidden.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Thank you so much Brut. It pleases me that you enjoyed it.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • BrutMystik

    What I liked, was the matter of fact, and almost detatched (although, not completely...) tone of the narrator.I LOVE omniscient narrators...This is great. Seriously. It made me feel hard, like a tennis racquet, when I read it. I hope Anna comes back from the dead.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    I have encased myself in a protective shield, much like the shield on Star Trek. People, or as the case may be mobs, can no longer harm me. It is unpenetratable. Should the mob ever arrive, I am safe.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    SFM -- The scary thing about the angry mob is that you don't see them until it's too late.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Right. What mob?

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    SFM -- If you don't keep writing, and angry EP mob is going to come after you with their shovels.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Really? I'll try.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • lostbird

    Yes that was a bummer about the shovel.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Sometimes shovels happen.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    I was sure she was going to escape and face the world in her new found freedom. The shovel was a big surprise.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    Surprised?

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • ag123

    Wow. I didn't see the shovel coming.



    That is really, really powerful.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like
  • Freestanding

    It is a little bleak, isn't it. Thanks, Jess.

    May 21, 2008
    1 like