Some Thoughts In My Mind

I have done some very stupid things in my life.. i have misunderstood ppl...i ve taken things fr granted..may be.i ve hurt more people than i think...i have imposed my self on others...i have thrown tantrums without any reason...
i was not born an idiot..i think i was pretty smart, back in my childhood n in the early years of my adulthood...i think i was born with a gud brain ..i got gud education..my parents taught me sm gud values..i was not raised in an environment full of hatred and malice...i grew up with ppl who were respectful of others.. they were kind n generous..i never witnessed any fights between my parents. there was no shouting...never...
it is a mystery to me ,that how did i end up like this? how did i end up with this pathetic excuse for a woman. where did everything my parents ever taught me..go? how did i become...me...this abhorable being...
i have many vices,,n very few virtues..and the only feeling left in my heart, is that of remorse n shame...i am awfuly ashamed ...i want to rewind my life ..all de years i wasted ..i want to get the years back n do smthing useful with my life...
i have now become so much useless dat i am unable to change my life now...i have become.me...but i wish..i was not..i wish i was a beter human...i wish i could contribute a lit bit to my community..to humanity...i wish i cud do anything fr any one...but no...all i can do is to write here with bad grammer n awful spellings.
i can go on all night n still have more to say, so i will b writing more...
please please no kind comments....u dont know but i dont deserve any...wat i deserve is..a hard slap on my face...
ust giv me wat i deserve...
saarah79 saarah79
26-30, F
4 Responses Dec 15, 2012

no sin is too big for ALLH to forgive ,dont condem your self as long as you are still a muslim you do not deserve hard slap ,we make mistakes in life ,once we know our mistake we should pray for forgivness and not commit same mistakes again.ALLAHknow better than all

So Sarah, How would you think you should straighten things out? You are the primary person to do that and there is always something simple that you will decide is the place to start. Leave any stimulant or depressant alone and sit down with a paper and pencil. Think about what you want to fix. Write it down and then write down how you think it can be fixed. It's usually something simple. You need to follow through.

Thanx 4 reading n postng nyc coments.

You are definitely worthwhile and you need to simplify things for yourself. Everything is a "big" problem until you do that. Maybe you need a spanking or that slap in the face, but that is only temporary relief. Do the hard job for yourself. You are worth it.

I don't believe you are useless or abhorent, Sarah, and I don't think you believe that either.

there re times when i belive this ....with all my heart...it was a time like dat when i wrote this ...thnks EP fr ur kind commnts..

slap slap slap ..lolz you ask for it .. sarah dont think like that you know i fear that due to all my bad experiences my positivity would nt change in negativity ... and you have changed your self now you know what to do... it will be hard in starting but you will..and your learning ( parvarish ma baa ki) is not wasted it is there thats why u are caring for your hubby and the people u have the negative things in you are not a big deal no one is perfect and you know u r because like this because you have made your self to be in a circle a small cirle of your norms and value and thoughts and rules .... which u are not fully aware of ... so go out of your circle and live your life ....

thanks hassan....

u are welcome .... apko agr apni life sai krni hey or sb kch sai krna hey tu apsy mey bt krnga ... kch phchnga or kch bolnga...maaanlega pls

i m opn to suggestions...there is a little i wont do to change my self.

i think i have an idea that what wont u like to do change

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