Love, Hurt And Freedom (a Poem Book)

far apart yet close to me, there you are, loving me.
miles away across the see, yet i still see your face,
you set me free from my chains, you knocked my wall and i let in.
i felt deaths breathe on my neck then you came and saved me from myself.
others they just walk by and i stay invisible.
then you are next to me in my heart.
we are miles apart.

no matter the distance i wont ever stop loving you,
no matter how far i have to travel i will be in your arms, forever.
you looked a second time. you got to me.
you should and guided me to freedom.
in the empty halls i hear your steps echo.
i will never let you go.

i was starting to fall, i was letting myself go.
then you came and set my life on fire, with a burning passion.
you lit the dark sky with light.
you freed me from myself, by loving me.
you cared how i felt, so i let down and i let you in.
now my beats again cause i love you.

running drops that are crystal clear fall,
sliding rocks roll down as the sun disapears,
the winds blow a furious gale,
the waves rise hiding the setting sun,
splashing sounds of flashing blots that dance with the clouds,
the blue skies turn grey and the singing stills.

the clouds set a gentle kiss on the hills,
the sun raises up high into blue ocean in the sky,
wind glazes a wave to the world,
laughter fills the warm air,
the grass grows here and there,
the streams flow down the mountains and rest in the lochs,
the blazing fire brings the heat as the birds carry a tune.

greens turn gold, brown and red,
chill comes and the myst starts to rest,
the sun still rises but meets only half way,
the fog stays light and only hides the warmth some days,
crunching sounds from beneather our feet,
the leaves make a carpet on the ground.

forming cold surrounds the air,
small white falls silent from the sky,
the air turns bitter and hides danger from our sight,
the sturdy ground becomes pale,
flakes kiss the ground spreading frost everywhere,
beauty is made but hides a secret cold.

drumming sound beneath our feet,
thunder sounds that repeat,
shouting calls of a hundred men,
marching stomps till the end.

deaths breathe covers the lands,
taking innocents by the hand,
blood paints the floors of the falling,
warmth turns to cold at the callings.

suns set and moons rise,
such hate never seen by the wise,
the crying noise that fills the sky,
wounded warriors wait to die.

the morning silence is broke with a sound,
gunshots fill the air all around,
hatred spits poision every where,
more and more join the falling there.

when the drums come to a hold,
the blood stops yet still flows,
the crows come and makes deaths call,
death comes and the curtains fall.

i search your eyes, they are empty and shallow,

i look for your soul, your body is hollow,

i listen to your voice, its weak and frail,

i smell for your loving scent, its become rotten and stale,

i watch your smile, is fake- a mask,

i feel for your love, its a impossible task,

i plead for your joy, yet i find none,

i ask for your wisdom, but your wise is done,

i beg for your touch, your skin is cold,

i ask for my family, go away i am told.

the blood that falls, the red paint,
blackened soul, a heart with taint,
demons call, the shadows dance,
howls echo, losing chance.

flowers bloom, skies turn blue,
suns shine, trees grow a new,
calming voice, grooming sleep,
gentle snores, a blissful keep.

thunder roars, the pain grows,
thudding steps, closed doors nobody knows,
evil laughs, cruel world calls,
monsters approach, happiness falls.

gray clouds clear, smiles start to stay,
black roses red, wind blows in a new way,
creatures leave, eyes lightly shut,
crystals gleam, just one more cut.

new blood that you cause to spill,

new hate that you cause to fill,

less love that you decide to feel,

less happiness becomes more real,

more pain that you want make me scream,

more each day i know this isnt a dream.

is it ok that i want to get on my knees and pray,
even though i dont believe in him.

is it alright if i feel like i want i have a shred of faith,
even though i lost my faith long ago.

is it strange that i want some peace in my mind,
even though be wont hear my cry.

is it different that i feel like i have found some hope,
even though i gave all of that up.

is it sad that i want him to hear my voice,
even though he has never helped me before.

is it bad that i want a little salvation,
even though it wasnt him that gave me my freedom.

is it good that i still feel like i owe him somthing,
even though i earned it myself.

is it hard to believe that i have found a worthy goal,
even though he had nothing to do with it.

is it difficult to understand that i still feel as if a part of him is always there,
even though i let his hand go and let him slip my mind.

through the hard times in life i will be here for you,
your wall to hold onto if you were to fall.

through the cold nights these days i will be here for you,
your warmth to hold onto when you become cold.

through the rough parts of the world i will be here for you,
your boat for you to sail should your tears become to much.

through the worries that you face i will be here for you.
your sheild to protect you from any harm.

through the good times and bad times i am here for you,
your gaurdian angel to guide you your way.

through all times you have i am here for you,
your protector, your wall, your boat, your warmth, your guardian angel, but most importantly your friend.

dusty tears that fall,
a empty shell of a little girl,
flooded thoughts flow through her mind,
a hurt child pleads for help,
a clenched contact her skin like a shovel to the dirt,
painful cries come silent and hollow,
she only wishes her pain to end.

red stains upon her skin,
where new scars will be lay like a fresh clothing the old one,
a countdown to another shock,
the silent tears that fall,
she closes her eyes and lets the dark take over,
when she wakes it is only a while of peace.

the colour of gray is the one she knows,
a misery that haunts her dreams,
her clothes blend in with her black and blue skin,
motionless eyes with no shades of hint of happiness,
a little girl hidden from the good parts of the world.

one day her binds are broke,
an distant feeling enters her- happiness,
her gray becomes bright with a small smile,
freedom calls her name,
a new start beckons her and she follows the tune.

over the horizon the sun finally shines,
a chance for a new life,
her smile widens as her steps quicken,
freed from her prison she is finally free,
she accepts these new emotions happily.

the final bind is broken from her,
her heart speeds up and her world shines,
she sees a face thats new but familiar,
a feeling opens her eyes and breaks down her walls,
she finds love and her hurt is gone.

daddy i wont pray,
that man up there hasnt known me a single day,
daddy i wont pray,
i lost my faith may years ago,
daddy i wont pray,
that man up there he wont make my pain go away,
daddy i wont pray,
i havent said his name in a long time,
daddy i wont pray,
that man up there wont ever hear me say,
daddy i wont pray,
i want him to be me and not be forced to do something i dont believe in,
daddy i wont pray,
you wont change me any day.

through the countless decades,
the nature slowly fades,
in the brightest lights,
the world still bathes in a shadow of death.

the plan we hold for a future in time,
its no use, we have committed such a crime,
her pleading cries for us to her blue and green,
we ignore and pretend that its just a dream.

the days get worse and the nights get colder,
she is slowly dieing as we get older,
unless we hear her hurting cry,
our dear planet will surely die.

they say stay away from her she always has a mask on her face,
i wear my mask because i am a disgrace,
i wear my mask to hide the real me.

i have too many secrets to bare,
so many ideas i can not share,
i am locked behind my mask but i want to be free.

i do what i can,
i always stick to my plan,
i am hurting behind my fake smile.

my mask is my own shield,
my fake smile saying i wont yield,
i want to be freed from my mask once in a while.

but if those with the keen eye will truly look,
behind my mask i am like a book.
and when i take of my mask i only care what one person will see.

this mask i wear is like a coat of paint,
my mask is like a dark taint,
and when i take my mask away he still loves the real me.

build me up and knock me down,
do your best to make me frown,
make me happy then deliver me pain,
do what you want to me you have nothing to gain,
let me live then treat me like nothing but air,
leave the other and hurt me i dont care,
hurt me, harm me as if you were the night,
go on do your best i will put up a fight,
just get it done already give me the daily pain,
i will stay strong and stay sane,
go ahead and push me around,
i will stay silent as my tears no longer make a sound,
i may have left you at last,
but because of you everyday i am haunted by my past.

i sit alone in a comfortable way,
the birds chirping to end the day,
the breeze of the winds in the air,
i feel the whispers that will always be there.

i watch the hills that sun sets upon,
the stars come up as the sun is gone,
the gentel warmth of the air,
i wish that you were also here.

i sing silently in the moonlight,
the cool air of the night,
the calling howls from far away,
i respond on this midnight summers day.

daddy daddy i would cry,
he does not even reply,
daddy daddy i kept trying then,
he didnt do a thing just drinks again,
daddy daddy i would plea,
he just looks but he does not see,
daddy daddy i would dare,
he just smiles and does not care.

in the darkness i am alone and cold,
daddy drinks as much as he is sold,
in the daytime i want to play,
daddy is passed out on the couch all day,
in the years that i cry,
daddy will never try.

mummy mummy i would look,
she does not answer like i am a crook,
mummy mummy i would hope,
she does not come for she can not cope,
mummy mummy i would wonder,
she stays away and stays a sunder,
mummy mummy i would say,
she does not come be it night or day.

in my life i was afraid,
mummy left she could have stayed,
in my hurt and pain,
mummy isnt there she has nothing to gain,
in my days it becomes night,
mummy doesnt come to turn of my light

wolf! wolf! the boy would cry,
i couldnt speak so i would howl in reply,
wolf! wolf! the boy would scream,
i danced in a dream,
wolf! wolf! the boy would say,
i always heard him each night and day,
wolf! wolf! the boy shouted wanting a respond,
i grow closer as i have longed,
wolf! wolf! the boy had tries,
i came and no one helped him because he lied.

each day i take a new step,
each day i start a new life,
each day i learn a new thing,
for once i want it to stay the same.

each day i hear a new heart,
each day i see a new face,
each day i think a new thing,
for once i want to skip lives game.

each day i feel new pain,
each day i have a new dream,
each day i have new fears,
for once i want it all to go change from gray.

each day i have a new hope,
each day i have a new world,
each day i feel a new feeling,
for once i will actually pray.

each day i wonder a new thought,
each day i speak a new word,
each day i hope for a new friend,
for once i think i know what to do.

each day i have a new logic,
each day i have a new smile,
each day i think the old but new thought,
for once i know that i truly belong to you

love is a four letter word,
it is what we use to connect to each other.
hate is a four letter word,
it is the way we hate our true sister and brother.
life is four letter word,
it is the path that we tread.
hope is a four letter word,
it is what we want even once we are dead.
wish is a four letter word,
it is what we do with we want something better.
pray is a four letter word,
it is our way of writing god a letter.
word is a four letter word,
it is all these things are, words only we can make their meanings.

give me your hand i will show you the world,
give me a chance and i will show you i am your girl,
give me the word and i will step back in line,
give me time and i will make you mine.

think about the love we share,
think about how much i care,
think of all the reasons i love you,
think about the smile you give me too.

give me a reason not to care,
give me hate but i will always be there,
give me a minute to get prepared,
give me a chance to tell you i am no longer scared.

think of the reason why i am still here,
think of why i really care,
think of what you had to do,
think all you like but the only answer is because i love you.

if i could i would take your pain,
if i could i would loose what i worked to gain,
if i could i would give you the love that you deserve,
if i could i would give you my heart to reserve.
all i want is to make you smile.

if i could i would be i your arms right now,
if i could i would answer how,
if i could i would be holding tight,
if i could i would be next to you tonight.
all i want is to show you my love,
but for now just know you are the only one i am thinking of

no more will you cry,
no more will you have to try,
no more will you have to fear,
because babe i am here.

no more will you be alone,
no more will you play the clone,
no more will you have to run,
because babe i will take the turn.

no more will you feel afraid,
no more will you have to worry if the deal was paid,
no more will you feel cold,
because babe i am here for you to hold.

like a graceful wave of a ladies hand,
like a silent tune carried upon the land.

like a gentle kiss upon a cheek,
like a leader but does not speak.

standing tall or standing small it symbolizes freedom,
standing strong it leads the way.

standing proud each night and day,
the scottish flag will always be here to stay.

hand in hand we will walk the world,
you showed me love as much as possible,
you broke me free from my binds,
you made me smile at the slightest things,
my heart beats faster at your name.

step by step we will make it through,
in tough times and easy ones we will always be,
no longer alone i am here for you,
no longer alone you are here for me.

hearts bound as one,
darkest days are finally gone,
no more tears unless the are happy,
hate that will come never,
true love that will last forever.

if i fall will you catch me,
if i call will you hear me,
if i am lost will you find me,
if i cry will you help me,
if i am hurt will you heal me.

if i smile will you cheer up,
if i speak will you listen,
if i hold you will you relax,
if i wish will you grant it,
if i look into your eyes will you look back.

if i leave will you miss me,
if i laugh will you laugh with me,
if i ask will you answer me,
if i change will you still be with me,
if i sleep will you lay next to me.

if you worry i will be there,
if you cry i will hold you tight,
if you need me i will be by your side,
if you are hurting i will make the pain go away,
if you worried dont because i just want to make you happy.

what happened to the days when we lived in peace and certainty,
when we slowed things down and admired the world,
when we showed our life with words not war,
what happened to the days when we had a great world to live for.

why did we let it go,
our peaceful world where there was no hate,
why did we fight and loose our fate,
now all there is in this world is fights,
but in the darkness there is always light.

we have not lost all just yet,
we still have the chance to forgive and forget,
if we stop all this war and hate,
if we end this anger that created a beast,
if we open our eyes and see our world,
the maybe one day once more we will find peace.

suddenly a smile upon her face,
after all those tears that fell,
a simple thing that made her happy,
something made her feel no disgrace,
out of all this darkness,
out of all these tears,
a smile upon her face,
she lets go of all her fears,
peace found in a busy world,
a path built for her to walk,
the sky no longer clouding over,
a voice to be heard more than once,
a choice that changes her for the better,
a chance for her to finally be free,
a new life for her to see,
her world shining a new way,
this girl is me and i am happy today.

i let you in i broke down my walls,
no my tears flood the halls,
you said you loved me,
that you would always be there,
then you leave me and say you still care, dont love someone just to break their heart, just tell them already and let them fall apart.

in the corner i lay so silent as the quiet tears would fall,
the colours i became familiar of lay upon my skin,
purple, black and blue the colours of a evil sin,
the scars that formed and would take shape,
the pain that each day i would take,
my heart beating fast as i regains my breath,
i feels the pain less and less,
trying to make the pain go numb,
outside it sometimes works but on the inside it still hurts.

we were young a blissful sight,
you were there to hold me tight,
through thick and thin we stood together,
you will be my best friend forever.

we used to laugh and play,
i was there until your last day,
the times we shared before you were gone,
the happy times from night till dawn.

the light you made shined on this place,
two silent friends with a smile on their face,
then the darkness came and drew you in,
a horrible dream that would win.

they tell me that it is time for me to move on,
i shake my head and will never forget that you are gone,
until the end you really did care,
i will never forget you my friend, this i swear.

i thought i was free from you,
i thought i escaped your cold heart,
and then i see you and the memories come back tearing me apart.
i thought that i could start over,
i thought i had made myself strong,
but then i see you and i become weak, i guess i was wrong.
i thought i had a chance to be happy,
i thought that for once i could smile,
and then you walk by and i hate myself more the while.
i thought i had made my way to salvation,
i thought that i had a a chance,
i thought i could finally live,
but then i am all alone and i have so much i can give,
i thought i had time to walk with a smile on my face,
i thought that i could finally be me,
and then i realized that every time i see you i will never be free.

alone, forgotten, betrayed,
these are the feelings i felt each day.
a poor life, a hard life, a cruel life,
the three lives that were my own,
a life is a poor one if it has no love,
alone, because i had no true place to call my home,
forgotten, because i was the trash left to rotten,
a life is a hard one if there is no one looking down on you from above,
betrayed, because i was hurt with no help and starting to fade.
a life is a cruel one if there is no one there to help the fool.

hunting alone from dusk to dawn,
listening to nature song,
howling to the moon when she shines bright,
chasing the sun when it becomes light,
in two bodies trapped one soul,
the animal within will take control,
listening to the sweet melody of the soft whispers among the trees,
the scurrying of the creatures below as they rise to watch the show,
watching the sky as the sun sets on the hills,
the full moon rises to the nighttime chills,
the beast withing brakes out of her cage,
her scene is set and the night her stage,
she smells for the scent as she bursts through,
the scent of her hunt what is due.

call me a dagger for killer for all i care,
i cause the pain that i had to bare,
i peirce a heart, i draw blood,
i should of told you i can not love,
a wall of shame is all you will see,
i should have warned you to not love me.

call me a dagger for a killer for all i care,
i have been there and done that you hear,
i dont listen to my heart, i dont listen to my mind,
i hear the calling of my true side,
a dark thing that hurts those i bide.

call me a dagger for a killer for all i care,
i have had a shadow on me that will always be there,
if i let you in you will be lost,
if i love it comes with a great cost.

call me a dagger for a killer for all i care,
the hurt is a burden that makes me curse and swear,
i dont love easy thats for sure,
and when i do love i let one go, its my only cure.

call me a dagger for a killer for all i care,
i want to find peace from this game of dare,
i want to be calm and free,
i want this shadow to leave me be.

no one there to keep the beasts a bay,no one there to make the pain go away,
no one there to hear her cry,
no one there to help her try,
no one there to help her put up a fight,
no one there to kiss her goodnight,
no one there to help her home,
no one there meaning she is all alone.

in the dark shines a distant light,
a angel cries at a painful sight,
the innocence of a child,
taken away and thrown into the wild,
a hurtful cry and plead for help,
but no one hears to help her out,
red tears stream down her face,
a young child lost her faith,
after time she became a shell,
no more does anyone know her well.

hollow eyes from the tears she cried, the heavy weight of loneliness upon her shoulders, the dark hearts of many people, it taints the world around her, be it good or be it bad, she did not know how to react, love to her is like a new land, distant yet clear, far yet close, a life of hatred, a life of hurt, a life confusion, she is happy she gains her new start.

love the love that you have love the most,
dare to dream a dream that is a ghost,
hope for hope that does not exist,
wish a wish for that special kiss,
words are words that have no meaning,
live your life of being a person,
hear the call that calls your name,
say goodbye as goodbye means we shall never meet again.

darkest rains, coldest hours,
harshest days, wilted flowers,
all that remains is a horrible memory.

sharpest laugh, toneless voice,
blank eyes, with no choice,
hollow shell of what once was me.

loudest thunder, lowest heart beat,
empty smile, a memory not wanting to repeat,
in the silence a quiet cry.

black and blue, stains upon her skin,
numbing pain, the victim of sin,
a young child no longer afraid to die.

when you are feeling blue, i am here for you.
be it sun or rain, just call my name and i will find a way.
no matter what you do, i am here for you.
be it countries apart, i will do my best.
when you have no clue, i am here for you.
whenever you need a shoulder to cry on,i will be there.

i ache for the excitement,
i ache for the firework,
i ache for the sheer thrill of life,
i ache for the feeling of freedom.

i pray for the joys of life,
i pray for the dreams of others to be mine,
i pray for my voice to be heard,
i pray for my ideas to be spread.

i long for the air of another land,
i long for the desires of my heart,
i long for the fires of eternity,
i long for the wonders of the world,
i will achieve my goals.

in my dreams i see you,
in my dreams i hear you,
in my dreams i need you,
in my dreams i love you.

behind my smile i was scared,
behind my eyes i had fear,
behind my laughter i was so afraid,
behind my hurt i found love.

in my life i still see you,
in my life i still hear you,
in my life i still need you,
in my life i still love you.

behind my questions i have hope,
behind my confusion i have some thoughts,
behind my chest my heart beats faster,
behind my fears i hope for my forever after.

drumming sounds, huge beat
it is the sound that will always repeat,
pumping through my mind,
the words going on all the time,
there is no way to describe my feelings for you,
there is no words to describe what i want to do,
you have stole my heart,
now we can never be apart,
my skies are more blue and the reason why is because i love you

a simple word will sum it up,
that burning feeling in my heart,
a different expression upon my face,
my sad frown has been replaced.
a happy word like firework explodes in my heart and head,
a thought that will stay with me even once i am dead.
that single word is from the skies above,
that single word is love.

a single tear escapes my eye as i remember.
i remember the times we had,
the thoughts we shared,
the times we laughed.
i am not that girl no more.
i am not the happy one you knew before,
believe it or not i am stronger now,
i dont need no body, i can look after myself.
a hurtful sound escapes my lips a sob that i had hid.
i dont want to hurt no more.
i dont want to be alone again.
i will jut stare at nothing at all.
my face is blank, my heart a wall.

as dark as night, as clear as day,
the person i am will never go away.
as cold as ice, as hot as the sun,
cross my anger and war has begun.
as green as grass, as black as shadows,
who i truly am no one knows.
as quick as a storm, as harsh as the rain,
if you are a friend you will never be alone again.
as red as a rose, as sweet as candy,
i can be nice any day.
as light as the moon, as great as a star,
if i discover i will go far.
as silent as a whisper, as loud as a roar,
think again if you thought you knew me before.

the beauty of a beast,
the wonders of its feast,
the creature of the night,
she is not darkness she is light.

the wild animal that has no shame,
the wild animal that you shall not tame,
the creature she lives to help others,
she protects her sisters she protects her brothers,

the howling sound that echoes the air,
the beautiful creature knows whats there,
the silence brakes with a mighty howl,
she is brave and will never cowl.

the grace she has as she walks,
the eyes on her as she stalks,
the hunters they will never find,
she is the wolf that was left behind.

the world is a cruel dark place,
the world is just a dot in space,
the world is full of so much hate,
we must change before it too late.

the world have different ways,
the world passes by these days,
the world is a battle field,
in this world we never yield.

the world could be a wonderful place,
the world could put a smile on your face,
the world could be a no war zone,
we shouldnt have to be alone.

i am here to help, i am a friend.
i am here to help, until the end.
i am here to listen to your burdens.
i am here to listen, i can be trusting.
i am here to help, to lend a helping hand.
i am here to help, not to demand.
just say my name and i will be there.
i am here to help, your problem can be ours to share.

a hurtful memory plagues my dreams ,
i am not as happy as it seems,
a tear that escapes my eye,
all i want is to say good bye.
but then i met you, my heart began to love again,
i let down my walls and let you in.
i no longer feel so blue,
now that i can love you.
it used to be a cold dark night,
but now you are here i can see the starlight,
never forget that i love you,
i tell you this all the time,
but i tell you because its true.

her beckon calls, the hollow halls.
her light streaming in the night.
her look is beauty, a bright smile.
i look at her and stare a while.
she glows brighter than any star.
she is so close, yet so far.
she is the mother of the night.
i look at her and my life becomes light.
i howl to hear her respond,
yet no answer just there to look upon.

One lonely night,
One person’s plight,
One dream to finish,
One task to be complete.

Two wailing cries,
Two black shadows,
Two thoughts of hope,
Two endings of pain.

Three teardrops fall,
Three long days,
Three new shadows,
Three extra fears.

Four stars brighten,
Four new opened doors,
Four different disappointments,
Four harder lives.

Five new nightmares,
Five new wishes,
Five new hopes and dreams,
Five people yet I am the lonely.

Like tartan striped, blues and greens.
Like Scotland nights, full of dreams.
The weak calls of the bonnie lass.
Through her eyes, like broken glass.
Like the thistle, beautiful but dangerous.
Like the highlands, she walks the risk.
A hollow cry, of the empty creeks.
In ones hope we will find what we seek.
Like two dove birds, souring high.
Like a kite, in the sky.
Hoping one day we can greet.
Hoping one day they shall meet.

strike me down with silver,
strike me down but i shan't suffer,
to love a life is to love the moon,
to love a life is to carry no boom,
strike me down like a lightning bolt,
strike me down with what you told,
to hear a sorrow is to see the others.
to hear a sorrow is to love our sisters and brothers,
strike me down like a dart,
strike me down but i will always have love in my heart.

there is a wonder deep my mind,
a calling that i lost in time.
there is something deep within soul,
and its crawling to the surface.

there is a feeling that i dont know,
my heart beating faster than before.
my breathe is caught in my throat,
your smile sets me on fire.

like a candle burning in a dark room,
you come and break my chains,
i see you and this feeling comes again.
there is something about you that makes me come to life.

you took the pain away,
you ended all my fears and showed me life has a meaning,
there is a thought ponders in my mind,
what did i do to deserve you.

there is a way that you manage to make me smile,
a way to show me how to live,
you dim down my darkness,
you helped me to love.

my world was dull and grey,
i had new marks each day.
i screamed and no one came running.
the only thing i knew was hurt and pain.

i called out for someone to help me,
for anyone to take me away,
i was on my knees praying, asking for forgiveness,
wanting to escape.

my life was a dark one,
one filled with blood and pain.
then you came, and you saw the bruises on my face,
the scars within my soul.

i called out, asking for help,
i prayed even though i lost my faith,
when all my tears where done and my eyes were dry,
you heard me and came to my side.

all my life i have known nothing but fear,
i was all alone in the shadows,
then you came and lead me away,
you entered my life and i was saved.

because i prayed for my hero to come,
i hoped for a new life,
someone up there must have seen because they sent you,
the angel from my dreams.

when i was curled up and losing hope,
i called out asking for someone to end my pain,
i reached out and took your helping hand,
someone must have noticed because i was giving you.

my memories are filled with my screams and pain,
i was hurting, screaming till that day,
the day were i felt less pain,
the day when you came, the angel of my dreams.

see that? its daddy getting angry again.
he is mad and is drinking more each day.
brothers holding me as i cry my eyes away.

hear that? its mummy saying she cant go on.
she is packing and is running again.
sister is telling me its going to be okay.

because daddy! cant you put down the beer.
it is supposed to be my brithday.
because mummy! why are you leaving.
i was only turning three.

see that? its daddy becoming a hollow shell.
i try to wake him but he just keep looking at the wall.
uncle is giving him another drink.

hear that? its mummy saying good bye.
i watch as she leave a broken family.
her taxi is driving away.

why couldnt you have just worked it out?
now mummy is gone!
now daddy doesnt even smile.

see that? its daddy meeting another woman.
he is smiling at her like he used to.
she is staring at me with such hate.

hear that? mummy has moved to another place.
she left us alone and you all seem okay.
mummy never calls no more.

how can i go on?
mummy left and daddy moved on.
now my life is a living hell.

see that? daddy is working all night and day.
his new girl is hurting me.
i am hiding but she always finds me and then comes the pain.

hear that? mummy never spoke to us again.
i wish she could have stayed then i wouldnt be bleeding.
she left and now i have to pay.

why me? why all this pain.
mummy left and daddy moved on and i am in pain.
i was only three when i lost my happy family.

i curl up and close my eyes,
i let the pain take over me.
screaming sounds come from my soul,
the agony i wont let go.

i feel the pain from deep within,
i brace myself as it comes again.
my soundless sobs echo in my mind,
the scars i have will be there all time.

i hold myself tightly and let the the tears fall,
i take the hits that come to me.
my walls are breaking and i can not breathe,
the worthless plead for it to end.

i sit alone as the pain stops,
i feel so numb and my heart speeds up.
my body is a canvas of blue, purple and black,
my breathes are shallow i make no sound.

i lay there as she walks away,
the night consumes as the pain fades away.
i pray for help but no one answers,
just a little girl yet i have to suffer in silence.

i take my steps, slow and steady,
i balance out as my silent tears fall.
my voice is gone, i shut down,
let in the pain, this my world now.

i look around for just one helpful hand,
i search the darkness but i find none.
they just walk by as i am screaming in pain,
because behind closed doors i am meant to hurt.

i lose my faith, and my hope,
i give in as the pain returns.
each and every day i beg for it to stop.
but my body is a canvas for blue, purple and black.

let me know what you all think :)
thisaccountisgone thisaccountisgone
18-21, F
Jul 30, 2012