One He Will Never Read

So many times in the last few weeks i have had a thought or a feeling that was so closely followed by the pain of knowing that i will never be able to share it with you...that the things that i have only been able to share with you will now forever remain locked inside me...

I am trying so hard to just be ok - because everyone expects it...and when i put you out of my mind i can just go about my day - but whenever someone brings you to mind my heart breaks all over innocent question from a friend leaves me breathless - not able to even see through my tears - and still i pretend its all ok - that i am getting over you...but i never want to...

I want to feel all of this pain - i need it - i need to feel that my soul is being ripped apart because without it i feel nothing - i am much of me was wrapped up in you and i never even realised until it was gone...

I miss you so much - and i can never tell you...

Flugelblues Flugelblues
31-35, F
10 Responses Apr 9, 2008

Thank you for your comment!

I will not only speak in your defence but if it fails i will go over there and break you out!!

I'll do my best. Should I take it then that you won't speak in my defence?

Hahaha M - If they do cart you away to a padded cell can you make sure your family pay extra for an internet connection!! :)

Thank you lynn - i know it will get better eventually - but i am not ready to let go just yet!!

Having to lose someone is a terrible heartache, but it does get better only with time. Your words describe it perfectly. You helped me to put some things into perspective so thank you for sharing your story.

Just belched out a loud chuckle and had people think that it was time to call the white coats.<br />
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Alcohol is magical sometimes. It can clear up our view, or cloud it when that is what is needed. Hooray for the booze!!

I think you are right M - and I did do the whole drinking thing! It did help!! :)<br />
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But writing will help a lot over time!

Take the round I sent for you. It could help in the short term. I think that your writing will have a releasing effect that will improve over time.<br />
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I know that the heart has reasons that reason cannot comprehend. <br />
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Chin up.

Thanks for your comment! :)