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Creeper

I was called a Creeper A LOT while being an Aspie, so I wrote this a long tiem ago

Creeper creeper creeper,
echoing in my skull

Wake up, look around
See all the colors, hear all the sounds
Get up, walk out the door,
See them all, I try to move,
I cannot move like them,
No reason for this, it simply is
I feel the looks, feel the stares,
Feel the thoughts, and hear the sneers.
I walk on, hearing the word creeper,
I move as best I can, hearing everything
Human, I cannot be

I look around, seeing the sky, clouds moving,
Birds chirping, people gossiping,
I walk by, hear the laughter, I try to mimic what I see,
I cannot, for I am not normal,
I hear creeper once again,
Human, I cannot be

Give a compliment, I get repulsed,
I look at other, they do the same,
They get accepted, for some reason I am not,
My looks perhaps, or perhaps what I am.
Give a greeting, I’m pushed way,
Other do the same, they are greeted
Human, I cannot be

Helping others, what I do each day,
Juggling countless lives along with my own,
Fighting one thousand wars for seven people,
I look up and see other watching,
I feel their piercing eyes,
Hear their words,
Sense their thoughts,
Creeper,
Human, I cannot be

Expressing my feelings, others watch
I make them public, wanting all to see,
None care, perhaps a few,
I feel their thoughts,
Know what’s said,

I do what I can, but in vain it is
From a diagnosed affliction this disease is,
I walk in line, keep head up straight,
Breathe stably, keep eyes ahead,
Hear their voices, feel their stares
Creeper, creeper, creeper
That is all I can be,
Human, I will never be…


SynysterGates510 SynysterGates510 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 26, 2012

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Cool. The strange thing is I saw myself as a creeper in my previous diary at college. It was pretty dark, as well and I never referred to myself as much of a human but a shadow. Well done.

I'm not an aspie, yet I can relate to being a misfit sometimes despite my best efforts...

Very nice :)