What My Obituary Should Say.

Well, Fred was right; He really didn’t feel well after all.

I know this obituary is long but humor us, as Fred would have said, “That’s what life insurance is for”. He lived an interesting life, and tried to be a good person, hopefully he did some good during his time on Earth.

Fred A. King, 89, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, surprised and annoyed his wife by dying in his sleep in the early hours of January 6, 2040.
Since he celebrated his 60th birthday for twenty years in a row, many folks, including some of his children, had no idea how old he really was. Still it is a fact that Fred was born on February 3, 1951, as the only child of the late Jacob and Esther King.

He believed that, “Education is a life-long pursuit, it begins when you focus on the first light you see, and ends with your last breath and you close your eyes for the final time.”

Fred survived Wyandotte High school in Wyandotte Oklahoma, and then several years later tried his hand at Ottawa University in Ottawa Kansas, after a couple of years he decided that he was too smart to waste his time there and dropped out. It was not until he was in his late fifties; he realized he was not as smart as he thought he was in his late twenties, and then he completed his degree in history at Ottawa University.

He lead a horrible life for forty five years, in and out of relationships, doing unspeakable things with many women, only to leave them when he grew bored, a royal S.O.B. It was not until he met his sweet young wife Angela at his work that his life changed. She was the one that showed him that family was more important than the collection of boy toys in which Fred was collecting. At the age of forty seven Fred became an instant father of five; two years later his first child was born, a daughter named Stacie; four years later a son named after both recently deceased grandfathers, Jacob Darrell.

Fred is survived by his wife Angela, and their seven children, Christopher, David, Zackary, Jessica and William Koscher and their two children Stacie Elizabeth and Jacob Darrell King.

In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your local bar, get rip roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can. Additionally, all of Fred’s friends will be asked to gather in a small room, to be designated later, to have a drink and wonder, “Fred who”.

R.I.P. Fred, your family and friends will miss you.

TheSteeleBeast TheSteeleBeast
61-65, M
3 Responses Nov 6, 2012

hope that turns out to be accurate!

lol, you're so funny, but I know this is exactly what you would want the PG version of your obituary to say!!

An awesome obituary!! I really enjoyed reading this...thanks!