I Am 68% Happy

I am 68% Happy.
The other 32%, however, is swallowed up by depression that I have been battling for the past two years, though really only since this March, when I recognized, with the help of my lover, that there were some serious things that I needed to change in order to be who I wanted to be, both for myself and for her. I am not there yet, but I know that if I keep working, keep trudging on, I will get there eventually. I try to be happier than I am, and mostly succeed--if I did not, I'd probably spend an inordinate amount of time just sobbing and getting drunk off my *** even though the latter causes severe pain in places where you really do not want severe pain for the next week or so.
Especially because that pain detracts from happiness of another sort, that while fleeting in comparison to the rewarding calm and quiet, is wonderful all the same.
Ursmajor Ursmajor
26-30
Aug 9, 2010